Services and Products
Individual Consultation and Coaching
I provide confidential, fee-for-service, private consultation/coaching via telephone and/or Skype to both men and women and accept payment via PayPal. My practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Typical sessions focus on:
- Exploring and identifying personality disordered behaviors and traits in your partner, family members, colleagues and friends.
- Validation that you’re not “the crazy one.”
- Understanding the dynamics of personality disorders and other maladaptive behaviors and how they affect intimate relationships.
- Understanding the dynamics of abuse.
- Understanding and dismantling your buttons, by which your partner manipulates, controls and abuses you.
- Understand your family and childhood experiences that make you susceptible to this kind of individual.
- Developing strategies and coping skills such as detachment and boundary setting if your relationship is ongoing.
- Exploring the option of divorce and developing strategies to navigate the family law system.
- Developing strategies and coping skills such as detachment and boundary setting post-break-up or post-divorce.
- Dealing with affects of parental alienation.
- Instituting and maintaining a No Contact policy.
- Mourning the loss of the relationship and letting go.
- Learning to recognize the warning signs of potentially abusive and/or personality disordered women and men.
- Learning how to avoid the traps set by emotional predators and bullies.
- Support for family members who have lost their son, brother, nephew, cousin, father or grandson to an abusive partner who has isolated him and cut off contact.
- Support and strategies for girlfriends and wives of men whose former partner were abusive and personality disordered.
The above list isn’t exhaustive. I work with both men and women who have been in these kinds of relationships or have suffered collateral damage from them. Please contact me at the following email address if you’re interested in working with me in a professional, one-on-one basis:
shrink4men@gmail.com
Unfortunately, I do not accept insurance nor do I work with the abusive partners.
Group Sessions
I am trying to enroll members for group phone sessions to begin the first week of April. You will need to make a 4-week/4-session commitment and abide by the group confidentiality policy and rules. The rate is 1/3 less than the individual session rate. It will require a basic screening prcess and be conducted via teleconference. At least 4 members to start the group and maximum membership is 7. The session will be 1 hour and 15 minutes.
Please contact me at shrink4men@gmail if you would like to enroll.
Donations
If you find the information I provide free of charge helpful and valuable here on Shrink4Men, please consider making a donation via PayPal to help me maintain the site.
My Virtual Shrink
MyVirtualShrink is an alternative to traditional psychotherapy and coaching. It offers a wide range of non-gender-biased web-based interactive guided sessions for a variety of issues. For a 20% membership discount, enter this promotional code: IBWURBABUFK when you register.
Best,
Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Stumble It!
this is the only site i have found to help me with my wife.
i thought i was going crazy with all her stuff, i just dont understand why i cant be done in my heart with her with all the stuff with her.I have 3 girls 16,14,11 and for their sake i have to figure it out and i cant.
anything i can do even group services i see you have i would do i have reached out to my family and friends and church and nothing helps,she has filed for divorce and locked me out of house 4 times because i have come against her with her drinking and verbal and emotional abuse and has hit me in past, i have never in my life think i would be here in my life. i have been with her for 16 years, her father is worse than her.and her whole family is at odds with each other all the time.please help.
thank you
mark
Dr Tara J. Palmatier,
I truely am in need of your sevices. Would you please contact me?
Scott
Hi Scott,
You can contact me directly at shrink4men@gmail.com.
Kind Regards,
Dr Tara
Thank you for your website/blog, things are becoming clearer. I still need to “talk” to you about my situation. I hope it will be sooner than later.
Dear Dr. Tara,
Thank you for this site and for all the information that you and others share. What can parents do to support a son who is in this kind of marriage?
He is our one and only and has always had a great relationshiop with his family and us. Since his marriage (3 years ago), it has become strained. They live 2 hours away and we have respected their time, relationship and privacy.
I can give you many examples of false accusations she has made about us,through him, and we have not been allowed to discuss them. She has gotten sick at the last minute for the majority of his (our) family holidays and gatherings. This is making it very difficult for him to be part of his family. At times he has had glimpses of what is going on but has said if we try to work through any of the issues his wife will divorce him. For instance, two years ago, we all agreed to see a family therapist and then she refused to go.
My question is…what can we do to improve the relationship with our son and his wife? We are open to suggestions and will try anything.
Thank you,
Kat
Hi Kat,
Your post is dated 8/4/10 so I don’t know whether you are still checking back in on the blog. If you are not, I hope it’s because your situation has improved. If you are still “blogging” I hope you will see my reply. We are in much the same situation. My son is our only child and, after almost 11 years and two beautiful grandchildren, we are still at a loss as to how to deal with the hateful drama caused on a regular basis by our daughter-in-law.
Dr T’s website has given me comfort that we are not alone with our experience. After maintaining our silence for so long I am just beginning to explore how we might learn some strategies that will allow us to support our son without our son and his children suffering for it. I would be grateful for anything you could share.
If you’re interested, please check out the Forum. There are a few parents whose children are in abusive relatioships that post there.
Thanks Mellaril… I’ll check it out!
I will too, thank you. Kat
Hi blueskygirl, we still are and it has gone from bad to worse, sorry to say. That is exactly what it is, hateful drama on a regular basis. It’s sad to think he is accepting this behavior. We have no grandchildren, that must be so much more painful and difficult. All we have ever wanted was to be a part of their life, but it was as if this has been done intentionally to isolate him from his past life, family and friends. Why should anyone have to give up their family for their spouse? She actually told me he has a new family now……..and what, we disappear? Of course his wife is his priority, that is a given, and she should be, two totally different relationships. There is so much I want to say, but for now, thank you for responding and look forward to hearing from you again. Kat
Kat, I feel your pain so deeply. I have no problem dealing with anyone else in my life but feel helpless here. She holds the power and there is little we can do except to reassure our son that we are here for anything he may need. Your comment about your son being isolated from his past life, friends, etc rings too true. We are very close to our grandchildren, ages 9 & 2. We put up with the drama and lies so we can spend time with the kids. I have thought it would be easier to deal with the situation if we didn’t have grandchildren but they are the joy of our life! I’m sorry that you haven’t experienced that joy. Maybe if your son eventually recognizes the sad truth of his abusive wife he will move on. My greatest hope for my son is that he will have a kind, loving and supportive relationship like I have been fortunate enough to experience. Thank you for reaching out…
wow! you have no idea what a relief it is knowing i’m not this horrible, insensitive person who can’t figure out how to get things right with my gf…and a special relief knowing that i’m not “crazy”, and there is a reason i’m so stressed out since we met. i’ve read just about every article and comment on Shrink4Men dealing with the disorders, victim role, etc… my gf fits most of them and it scares the crap out of me! i’m even going to counseling on her recommendation to learn how to deal with my “insecurities”…yeah, it’s that bad. now here’s my question to anyone who can help….i just moved to a different city and live with my gf. how do i break it off? we share all of the financial responsibilities, and i do care about her enough to not just leave her hanging financially. i appreciate ANY legitimate feedback.
Just do it, and do not look back. It took me 17 years to realize that I’m not that special to my ex. They/she will replace you in a heartbeat! Her professed feeling of “love” for you is about an 8th of an inch deep. Tough to accept-but true.
Keep FN around with her, and she will “accidently” be pregnant and you will be F&^%$d for life.
PERIOD!!!
I think i come in this category. I’m very confused as to wheather I’m loved or not! I do everything to try keep everything smooth,yet this is hard work. I got in trouble the other day as the indicators didn’t work correct on the car. I am very lonely which is slowing me down in looking for a new job. Sex life is non existent. I try to talk,but get told to stop my crap again. I’m just trying to work things out. Thank you
Yes I’m a female reading this information. Twenty years ago my brother was killed by his wife. I knew in my heart of hearts that there was something REALLY wrong with her but NO would even consider she was the abuser. I could see it but had no name for it and mo one to back me up. With her very twisted lies and a twisted lawyer she hired before she killed him she was never charged. But now their 2 sons are grown and starting to ask questions. Both are married one has a great normal wife and one has a BNP wife. So this has me looking for answers to the things I have known in my heart. Ways to explain if I can some things to my nephews. One thing has come out in all if my research is that my Mom is BNP and so was my Grandmother. I wish I had known this growing up. Our Mom was so mentally abusive. So attention men!! If you are in a relationship that looks anything like what has been described in these articles and you don’t have children RUN!! No it won’t get better. RUN!! I saw my brother be destroyed in every way before she actually killed him. RUN BOYS RUN!!