Blame and Rage: What Narcissists and Borderlines Call Problem-Solving


Emotionally immature people typically have poor problem-solving skills, or a complete lack of them. In intimate relationships, narcissists and borderlines bully, guilt trip, play the victim, throw tantrums, become physically violent, destroy property, disappear, give the silent treatment, name-call, blame shift and engage in other dysfunctional behaviors to silence criticism, evade accountability and justify not making healthy behavioral changes.

Codependents, on the other hand, avoid the conflict, people-please, take the blame for things that aren’t their responsibility, ignore, minimize, guilt trip, behave passive-aggressively, disappear or give the silent treatment in an effort to avoid conflict to preserve relationships. None of theses behaviors are healthy or emotionally mature. Nor do they resolve conflict or other relationship issues in ways that are mutually satisfying.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

 

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The Final Child Support Payment to a Borderline or Narcissistic Ex: Brace Yourself, Francis! [Video]


Some ex-spouses accept and plan for the fact that child support will someday come to an end. These same individuals also tend to see child support as temporary supplemental income. Child support isn’t meant to be a parent’s sole revenue stream.

This typically isn’t the case with hostile dependent personalities. Many people with narcissistic, histrionic and borderline traits/disorders tend to be hostile dependent and pathologically entitled. They see child support ending as a form of abandonment. Mind you, child support is for the children. Not an adult who either doesn’t want to work or who wants additional income to what they earn.

If this describes your ex, you can expect an escalation in the worst of her behavior as the child support clock runs down, so plan accordingly!

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

 

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Narcissist Fight Club Rule #5: The More You Explain Yourself the More Vulnerable You Are [Video]


To exploitative personalities, information is a weapon. With healthier people, trying to reach mutual understanding is useful to reach resolution and compromise. Not so with narcissists, borderlines and other abusive emotional reasoners, the more you explain yourself, the easier it is for them to manipulate you.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

 

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Healthy Boundaries, Part 2: The Joy of No! [Video]


Healthy boundaries are a basic building block of healthier relationships. The ability to someone no without guilt is an essential skill if you’d like to begin practicing interpersonal boundaries and build more self-respect. Even if you feel guilty about saying no, you can still say no. Don’t make decisions out fear. Or, as I like to say, feel the guilt and say no anyway!

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

 

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Dating Again, Part 4: Letting Go of the Codependent – Narcissist – Borderline Fairy Tale [Video]


Part Four of the Dating Again video series discusses the common never-going-to-come-true fairy tales some people have constructed about love and relationships since childhood. If you’re family of origin was dysfunctional and toxic, odds are you have some faulty beliefs about love and relationships. If your belief system involves loving a broken person well, or a chaos monster into normal, loving human being, it’s time to let go of it and adapt a healthier view of relationships that’s much more likely to come true.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

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Boundaries Repel Narcissists and Borderlines, Part 1: The Golden Rule


Being able to identify red flags or behavioral warning signs that your new love interest is too good to be true isn’t enough. You’ve got to have healthy boundaries. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family that didn’t instill healthy boundaries, instituting boundaries now will likely be difficult. It is critical to do, however, if you want to become healthier and have healthier relationships.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

 

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Dating Again, Part 3: Learning to Appreciate the Mundane


This is Part 3 of the Dating Again series (Part 1 and Part 2). Unhealthy, dysfunctional and/or abusive relationships are often characterized by highs and lows, emotional intensity, hyper-arousal (i.e., the fight, flight or freeze response) and feelings of emptiness, numbness and worthlessness. In this video, I explain the necessity of learning to appreciate calmness, stability, predictability, a consistent sense of well-being and emotional security, or the mundane. Healthy relationships aren’t emotional roller coasters.

Healthier partners don’t activate childhood feelings of worthlessness and feeling separate from humanity.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

 

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