Home > Abusive relationships, Borderline Personality Disorder, relationships > Is Your Girlfriend or Wife a Professional Victim?

Is Your Girlfriend or Wife a Professional Victim?

Does your girlfriend or wife blame you for everything that’s wrong in the relationship, yourfaulteven her bad behaviors? Does she refuse to take responsibility for her own actions, especially the hurtful ones? Do you frequently feel forced into a role of contrition in which you have to make up for some wrong or “owe” your girlfriend or wife?

If so, you may be involved with a woman who is a professional victim. Don’t be fooled, she is no victim. Victim-hood is a powerful role. In fact, women who play the victim are often the aggressor in relationships. They play the “victim” to manipulate and control others by holding you emotionally hostage.

Professional victims are stealth bullies. Being caught in a never ending blame game with one of these women is a form of emotional abuse for the man at whom she points her finger in accusation.

The following characteristics are signs that your girlfriend or wife may be a professional victim:

1) She never acknowledges when she hurts others. She has exclusive rights to the role of “injured party.” When you call her on her  behavior, she provides ample excuses for why she’s not accountable. The excuses she provides assign blame for her actions to someone else, usually the person she’s wronged. It’s always your fault or someone else’s fault, but never, ever is it her fault.

2) The victim must be victimized. If you’re not an abusive person, she’ll pull it out of you in order to play the victim script she has in her head. For example, she needles and needles and needles one of your sore spots, until you can’t take it any more and snap at her in defense.

Presto! She just got you to “victimize” her–never mind the previous 2 hours in which she psychologically tormented and bullied you into it. She needs to play innocent victim to someone’s bad guy. It’s the foundation of her identity.

This is a very primitive defense mechanism called projective identification, which, if you’re on the receiving end, is truly awful in that it makes you feel like the crazy person. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy whereby she believes you’re a “bad guy” and she’s a “victim.”  She then behaves or interacts with you in such a way that you change your behavior in response to her actions and become the “bad guy.” A telltale sign is that you feel like you’re being coerced into being someone that you’re not. It’s highly, highly emotionally abusive.

3) She blames others and circumstances for her own shortcomings or failures. The professional victim lives in “Never-Never Take Personal Responsibility Land,” which is bordered to the North by “The Land of If Only.” This allows her to blame her parents, siblings, co-workers, bosses, professors and you for her life, career and relationships not being as she thinks they should be.

She’d be running the business if only her boss recognized her talents. She’d have graduated from culinary school and been wildly successful if her prof hadn’t looked at her cross-eyed. She’d have sex with you more often if you did more of x, y, and z. Don’t fall for this malarkey, men. She’s right in that there’s someone to blame for her sad life. She need only look in the mirror to direct her blame accurately.

4) She admires and respects people who actually treat her badly. This is a fascinating aspect of the professional victim: They defend those who harm, exploit and bully them and vilify and lash out at those who want to help and care for them. She may fondly describe a relative or ex-boyfriend who sounds like a real S.O.B. and follow it up with, “but he’s such a good person.” Meanwhile, you bend over backward to tiptoe around her extreme sensitivities and she accuses you of “beating her down” and “not being supportive.” Huh?

The fact that she admires and respects bullies and people who abuse their power is a huge red flag because we emulate those we admire. Let me make this point crystal clear, SHE ADMIRES BULLIES AND ABUSERS BECAUSE SHE IS REALLY AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE BULLY IN VICTIM’S CLOTHING.

It’s impossible to have a loving relationship of equals with a professional victim. She goes through life feeling slighted and angry, never taking responsibility for her actions or life. Good luck trying to talk to her about this. You’ll meet with extreme defensiveness and more blaming behaviors. Her only identity is that of victim: If she doesn’t believe she’s being victimized, then who is she? Someone who treats other people like crap and who is pissing her life away. It’s a matter of psychological self-preservation versus ego annihilation.

You can’t have a healthy and happy relationship with someone who holds you hostage and controls you through guilt, emotional blackmail, and blame. This type of person rarely changes and usually has characteristics of one of the dramatic cluster B personality disorders, including Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Anti-Social Personality Disorder or some variation.

If you’re involved with one of these women, I encourage you to reconsider the relationship. When I come across them in life, I try to avoid them altogether or, at the very least, minimize contact. It’s really the only way to deal with them.

by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Private Consultation and Coaching

I provide confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. My practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit Services and Products for professional inquiries.


If you find the information I provide free of charge helpful and valuable here on Shrink4Men, please consider making a donation via PayPal to help me maintain the site.

Photo credits:

Your fault on freerepublic.

  1. PMAN
    June 11, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    I’ve been married for 12 years, and only now have I come to realize there is a classification for my own personal hell.
    My wife came from an emotionally abusive home. Her father was abusive towards her mother, her sister, herself, but not towards her brother (he could do no wrong). So because of this I have tried to be understanding and supportive, but nothing ever seems to change.
    I cannot talk to my wife about anything more in depth than the weather with her bursting into tears or turning what I am saying around and explaining to me how she does this behaviour because of something that I do, therefore it is my fault she acts the way she does. This is absolutely maddening!
    She is prone to extreme bursts of irrational anger, and takes it (verbally, not physically) out on whoever may be within the fallout zone. She then comes back one or two days later and apologies for behaviour and tries to act like nothing happened!
    I tried talking to her mom, and her best friend (in order to try and get some insight on how she was before I came along), and she immediately yelled at me and accused me of trying to steal her friends from her. It was unbelievable, she was literally shaking her fists at me screaming “She’s MY friend, not yours!!”
    She then gets mad at me for not communicating with her. How can I when every time I try she either sobs uncontrollably, or yells at me saying how it is all my fault. A rat is only going to get shocked so many times before he learns to leave the cheese alone!
    We have two children, and every time my wife and I have a disagreement my only rule is “not in front of the kids”. She, however seems to go out of her way to make sure our kids get a good show, which usually ends up in one of them asking me what I did to mommy to make her cry. No matter what I do, how supportive I try to be, it always ends up with me looking like the villian. My daughter thankfully is getting old enough to realize what is going on, and how irrational mommy is being.
    The most recent and extreme incident involved myself taking the kids to the beach when mommy was working, so they wouldn’t be cooped up all day. I sent a text message to my wife’s phone saying “Taking kids to beach, my not be back when you get home.” We spent a nice afternoon at the beach, and I got some quality time with my kids. On the way back to the car my phone rings and it is my wife wondering where we are. I told her I sent her a message and that we were just coming back from the beach, not to worry, everyone was just fine. She told me she didn’t get the message, and hung up on me in anger. I then texted her twice on the way home to say how close we were and that we were fine. When we got home, our dream day at the beach turned into a nightmare as my wife proceeded to ambush me and proceeded with the yelling. Screaming, “I’m their mother and I have a RIGHT to know if you are going to take them an hour and a half away from me!” I showed her the text message on my phone and at what time it was sent, and then apologized that she didn’t get the message, but reminded her that I wasn’t trying to intentionally deceive her. She knew where we were when she called me (15mins after she got off work), and that I was just having some fun with the kids. She immediately told the kids to get their shoes on, they were going to her mothers. The kids said they didn’t want to go. My wife’s yelling, crying, and anger sent my daughter crying to the front lawn in fear, and my son stuck to my side like glue. The whole time she was yelling at the kids and me, she made sure to walk out to the driveway and put on a show for the whole neighborhood to see.
    I just don’t know what to do anymore. She seems to make progress sometimes, and then just falls back into the same old behaviour. I can’t leave because I love my kids too much. I feel checkmated, which is a horrible way to feel.

  2. michael
    June 9, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Oh my gosh!! This is what I’ve been living with the past 6 years. My first wife passed away, we had our arguments, but, never called each other names or even came close to a physical altercation. I was married to her for 13 years. My current wife is exactly like described above. She tells how her ex-husband was abusive. When I spoke to him and heard the details it was exactly the same. She would not stop insulting, he would try to get away and she would follow…never stopping with the insults and SNAP!! He put her on the ground…same as me. Then we were labeled abusive. The sad thing is is that she has taught her teenage daughter the same thing. It is completely manipulative. She is right. I never should have put my hands on her and I don’t play into it anymore. But, I no one should ever be spoken to the way she does when dhe does not get her way.

  3. Thomas
    June 2, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    It took a couple of years after the divorce but it makes perfect sense now. My ex-wife exhibited all the classic characteristics of victim mentality. No matter how much I tried to eliminate obstacles to her success she would invent more. The more respect and kindness I showed the more she tried to sabotage the marriage with absurd convoluted excuses to try to make me mad. It was always some excuse why she couldn’t succeed. She spent thousands of dollars on business ideas only to walk away when it required effort to make them work. After a while I was convinced her health problems were borderline hypochondriac. She even encouraged rebellion from our step son to sow conflict in the marriage. Eventually she saw that I was too strong to give up on her and like everything she tried, she walked away from the marriage and to this day blames it on me. So sad and a hard lesson learned.

  4. KJ
    April 28, 2011 at 7:12 pm


    Number 4 about She admires those that treat her badly. MY EX!-girlfriend and I were on the back porch when I was dating her and she talked about the guy who beat the crap out of her for as she says 12 years out of the 15 years she was dating him. She made the claim that, “Something died inside of me!”, but in the next breath said how he was an excellent fireman. I am glad for your DR. Tara. You have allowed more lightbulbs to come on.

  5. Supriya Sinha
    April 13, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Hello Dr T,
    i am truly shocked at what i have read in this thread, and utterly confused as well.
    i never knew such a thing ever existed before today. i would like to ask you about my own problem.
    My gf has shown exact patterns of what many have described here. She has a control freak for a mother whom she worships and when i try to stick up for her i receive a “but she’s my mom and i still love her” routine. She fights with me if i tell her something that’s in her favor blaming me of trying to restrict her but gives excuses on behalf of her friends who use her. I am at a total loss because whatever argument i may drag her into so that she may see the folly ends with her shutting down on me with “i don’t know” and then a series of self deprecating comments. Mind you she never verbally lashes out in a direct manner but tries to draw up comparisons with my nature and past actions no matter how far removed it actually is from her predicament. i have tried to break up several times in the last few months but have failed. she doesn’t let me cut the lines of communication, plus she keeps saying i am the only person she has ever loved and will never love anybody else. my mind is in turmoil. she gives me a time when she can be free to chat with me but delays by an hour at the least. i am fuming by the time she comes and end up shouting at her. eventually the whole mood is ruined and she blames me of playing the blame game every time. i happen to be very possessive about her, and don’t like to keep secrets in a relationship. despite this, she keeps things from me, and never even bothers to mention things that ought to be shared. she refutes when i ask her to do something but if at the same moment one of her friends demands the very same from her, she obliges. she says i’m the only person she can show her true self to, vent her anger and share her pain with; but the irony is that she doesn’t want to understand how much pain she is causing me. she says that i can leave but she won’t love anybody else and will be shattered. i can’t seem to break off on hearing all this. she has time for everything in the world, her friends duties family but never finds time for me and keeps cancelling dates citing obligations. when i complain she compares it with a few instances in the past when i cancelled dates due to our fights and her negligent behavior. i want to know for sure whether i am exaggerating things or is it for real? is it me who is at fault, or am i really being treated as a trash can for somebody who has no real feelings for me…
    is there any solution to all of this? or should i move on? can confronting her with the truth bear any fruit?
    plz reply…

  6. S.O.S
    February 10, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Thanks a lot! This is exactly my problem.

  7. S.O.S
    February 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    I just dont know what to do anymore. Shes like an impenetrable wall.

  8. S.O.S
    February 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    This blog has comfirmed the fact (at least to me) that I am not demented.

    My wifes behaviour has been increasingly becoming more of a nuisance each day. Lately I feek as though it is breaking us appart.

    -Reasons as to why I felt like I was reaching insanity- Usually when she is at fault and we engage in an argument she will take what we both have said and flip it backwards. She will add things to make herself seem extremly victimised (even if its a silly argument). She takes things to the next level and intricates so mich I loose track of what she is talking about. Shes contantly aying mind games (seems to me like a power struggle). When the moment arises that I was most obviously right she stirs away from the topic with vicious sarcadtic remarks. She know what upsets me the most and she will use it to her advantage. When we argure she makes it real audible. She makes sure to mention how I am abusing her in a way or the other. I think she does this so our neighbor could hear her (neighbor happens to be her best friend). Shes pushed people away from by making them think I treat her like scum (I am very nic e to her. I go to great lenghts to please her). when ever I point out that it is very clea to me what she is doing she eituer dimisses me or says that its is all in my head that i must have some issues. She has made lots of people look down on me. Some one once told that perhaps she is trying to isolate me. when ever I try to vent with her about my own problems somehow it always turns into a conversation of how her problems are more important. She makes me feel like a prisoner of my own mind. In public she is very condecending and always strives to make look like an idiot somehow. Any time of judgement will be extremly unwelcomed. If I dare say there is something wrong her it either turns into how its my fault or how I posses greater faults than her. Shes always says she things she in reality never said just as long as it makes her right somehow (I find this bizzare). She can make an argument out of thin air, shell just put words in my mouth amd go from there on. She is constantly saying very hurtful condeseding things. Everyone thinks shes just a sweet girl and I am a controlling abussive person which I am not at all. I am so sick of her bending reality for her perverse satisfaction. Now, I love her to death and weve been together for quite a while. I do not want to loose her but I do belive she does intend to make me belive I am insane, I am at fault, she tries very hard to console me, and I confabulate these things.

  9. Sarah
    January 31, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    My mother is like that she is a professional victim, just recently i had a huge fight with her….its soo frustrating when talking to her or when trying to tell her how she hurt you she always reverses it to her being victimized instead… she soo slippery i can never catch her she never ever admites to being responsible to anything. At last now i know what the term is .. SHE IS A PROFESSIoNAL VICTIM!

  10. Alissa
    January 9, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    Boy, does this resonate with me! I just ended a “friendship” with a “professional victim.” She was a textbook histrionic. She was always creating drama, never took responsible for her behavior and treated me like crap, despite that I was only nice to her. The part about how these people respect those who treat Them like dirt, but will be mean to those who are only trying to be nice to them really struck a chord.
    However, I don’t think this behavior is confined to women. I know a lot of men like this. They, too, have personality disorders. But this is a great article, either way.

  11. Cal-Dad
    December 24, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Here’s the latest installment from “Being Married to a Professional Victim.” We’ve been separated for over 2 months now. She sent me an email a few days ago asking it I thought it was financially feasible for her to stay in the home we own. Since she makes very little money, barely breaking even on her business I’m pretty much the sole breadwinner. I prefer my kids to stay in the home for the purposes of continuity – for their emotional well-being. Unfortunately in California homes are very expensive so I can’t see how we can live in two households with essentially one income.

    So last night I responded to her with “If you think you can earn some more income then we might be able to make it work. Otherwise it looks like we’ll have to sell the home.”

    Her terse response was “Great timing on such uplifting news. Merry Christmas.” My response to her was “Knock it off. If you don’t want to know something before Christmas then don’t ask.”

    I put up with this crap for years – it’s always my fault and she is always the victim. I’m supposed to feel bad about everything. When I was with her I’d never tell her to knock it off, I’d just walk away and steam under my breath. Now that I’ve been away from her I can see the patterns very clearly. It still bugs me that I have to interact with her on these things.

  12. Doug
    November 24, 2010 at 2:49 am

    Dr. Tara,

    I’ve been reading these posts and realize I’ve been brainwashed for over 30+ years. I feel numb and like a zombie most of the time. Our arguements consist of her ranting for hours, with me finally interjecting something which she reacts with
    disgust and horror. She’ll then use these words against me for months. She lies all the time and cannot be trusted with any information. I’m scared even now just writing this. It’s been so long I don’t if it’s even possible for me to lead a d
    decent life. This site does give me some hope. Thanks

  13. Daniel G
    October 7, 2010 at 2:01 am

    I just wanted to write a comment saying how glad I am that someone actually realizes what these women are. I’ve been going through a horrible divorce for the past year trying to free myself from just such a woman. I won’t tell you all the details of the horrors this woman has put me through, but here’s just a sample. As soon as she realized I was beginning to see her for what she was and tried to get away from her, she went to the courts and, through lies and gross exaggerations of the truth, got a restraining order against me. After many court dates, I finally manage to get the Family Court to allow me to remove my property, property I had owned since long before I had ever met this woman, from the apartment that I had been solely paying the rent, utilities, insurance, etc… on, and allow the lease to expire. What happens the very day we get the movers to move the stuff out? She trumps up a charge of violating the restraining order to the police and gets me arrested and thrown in jail for the night. Of course, for the past six months, she continually eggs the DA on to prosecute, and, of course, he can’t refuse to prosecute a restraining order violation when the “victim” is asking him to, despite the facts that the only evidence that a violation occurred was the word of the “victim” and that I have multiple witnesses willing to testify that I didn’t violate the order. Then, a day before the trial, when one of her friends that is also sympathetic to me informs her that if she really didn’t want this to go forward, (as she had been telling them), then she could invoke marital privilege, she asks “What kind of number are we talking about if I do that”? Well, by this point I know her game. So my parents and I tell our mutual friend that if she does this, we will be “fair” at the next divorce court session. I don’t know if she took this as agreement or what, but she invoked marital privilege. Well, guess what “fair” means to me: It means that at the next divorce court session tomorrow, I and my lawyer will again reiterate our contention that the assets should be divided in exactly the same way we have always said they should be divided. We will again reiterate our contention that for such a short marriage, alimony is entirely unwarranted. We will also inform the family court judge of the attempted extortion in the criminal trial. And we will reiterate our request for lawyer’s fees due to my wife’s bad-faith negotiation throughout the divorce process. And, if dreams do come true, this woman will be arrested. (Of course, that last point will happen when pigs fly, but one can dream.)

  14. Lawrence Fortune
    October 2, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    Wish I read this before I married for the second time. Completely opposit to my first wife (deceased), My second wife (Ex) was, is classical professional victim, but if you think it is hard on the spouse, just think of the effect on children. I had five from my previous marriage and it was some task to keep their self esteem from crashing. Thank God there is peace in our house now!!!

  15. Ebony
    September 8, 2010 at 3:36 am

    I have been married to such a person for over 20 years, largely because of a belief that it would be better for the children than a divorce. As part of a psychiatric consultation, my wife and I met with our child’s psychiatrist. It was an eye opener as he gained responses from her that were almost directly taken from this article. Afterward, he told me that our son’s situation was likely intractable because my wife likely has projection identification and a pathological need to be certain.

    My wife wanted to medicate our teenage son, but the psychiatrist adamantly refused seeing it as a means to control instead of alleviating a problem she is causing.

    Sigh . . . and I thought there might be hope.

    Sadly,this article explains so much.

    • September 8, 2010 at 2:13 pm

      Sorry about your situation, Ebony.

      My wife is also a PV … though of course she’d never “understand” or admit that this is the case … and fits just about every other point mentioned in Dr. Tara’s personality disorder “signs”.

      Not exactly fun people to live with.

      If you don’t mind telling us, what is your teenager’s “issue” that caused you to consult the shrink?

  16. Vulcan
    August 7, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Hi Dr. T.

    I just broke up with my girlfiend of a year a couple weeks ago. Things have been weird from the beginning, but I guessed this was part of getting to know each other, also because I didn’t have much experience in relationships.

    I finally realized that this woman had a serious problem when it comes to taking responsibility for the choices that we make as humans.
    Being an NLP guy, I figured she lacked the ability to see things as choices she made. If she could only see that she makes choices, she would surely see how she is also responsible for her choices, right?!?
    So one day on vacation when it was very relaxed and there was a lot of rapport, I tried to “let her see” that we all make choices.
    I slowly let her put in place all the frames that I figured would be helpful for learning. (although I’m pretty sure she knew that I was up to something, she went allong anyway).
    Then we struck the topic of her choosing a school after highschool. She said something like “Oh I sent an application to that school, but didn’t think I would get in. Then visited some schools which didn’t require applications. But then my application was accepted by school so-and-so”.
    So I said something in the lines of “Oh so you decided to go to school so-and-so?”. And she would say things like “No, I just went there”. I tried a couple times to let her see it’s her choice, but she wouldn’t have any of it. I was completely flabbergasted.
    After reading this site, it kinda makes sense though.

    Thanks Dr. T.

  17. Stefano
    August 1, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    Point 3 is very interesting to me. My Ex was constantly moaning about other people in every job she had. I started to notice a pattern after 3 jobs and the same excuses for leaving. “Oh person X is constantly having a go at me and I just don’t get along with anyone there and they ignore me.” Hmmmm maybe it was her that had the problems!

  18. David
    August 1, 2010 at 9:09 am

    This is a great artice for me personally as it matches my ex to the first 3 characteristics very well,it was very sublte and pernicious.I ignord the red flags of course, she was/is very much a dramatic person in that if someone or thing upsets her, everyone gets to know about it, more than that,someone has to pay and be made to bleed. our relationship however was very good initially, she showered me with affection, love bombed, realy bigged me up to the point I was starting to get embarrassed, I have to say despite the bust up, this side of her didnt really change but looking back I feel this was part of the act because without it I would have walked ages ago, its what kept me coming back, this has left me very confused as it all seems that if this is actualy what was going on, it was a sham all along. does this make sense to anyone?

    • Dave G
      August 1, 2010 at 6:02 pm

      Absolutely identify with this! When I started with my ex, I was the knight in shining armor, who helped take her away from a “very troubled” life. I could do no wrong. Then, tougher times hit, I started to look far too human and falable, and lost that “new car” smell. Now she has a new knight (met and married within a year without any regard for our two toddlers and their need to get to know him better), and I am the “big problem” he came in to solve. Very dangerous woman, and I agree with earlier posts that there are some types of personality disorders that won’t get helped by psychotherapy. Some people are just born “wrong in the head,” and are so wrong that they are able to manipulate others (even therapists) by turning that outward onto their spouse or ex-spouse. I would love to know what her therapist thinks of me, site unseen!

  19. David
    July 31, 2010 at 10:24 pm

    my ex npd? asked me to marry her…no effing way I thought, said it more gently than that of course. I never felt the proposal was genuine, it appeared more of an ultimatum or agree to marry me and then I can have more control of you. no matter, it wasnt and isnt, going to happen.

  20. lost
    June 30, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    I’m at a loss at where to start. My wife and I have been married for 26 years. None of them have been happy for me… I could sit and type for the next 2 days and still not cover every thing.
    We had agreed on plans on how to pay bills, then she would do whatever she wanted, and of course utilities went unpaid, etc. This lead to terrible fights. I guess the most telling would be what happened just last week. She has needed new glasses for quite some time. When she went the first time, the price was astronomical, so we held off.
    Over the last year I have mentioned that she needed to get her glasses, but she never did, even when we could afford them. So last week we were arguing about something else, when she said, “well, what about my glasses, why don’t I have them? We always have enough money for things you want, but not for my glasses.” I pointed out that I had said several times that we should get them. “I know, but they are expensive and money is always tight.” I pointed out that we have had our tax return in the savings acct. for over 5 months. So it turns out that she herself had been telling herself not to buy them, and all the while being mad at me for her not having her new glasses.
    She lies all the time, tells me how much she loves me. She has cheated on me more than once because she has convinced herself that I have cheated on her. She has seen a couple therapists, and for a while we went to a marriage counselor. She would lie to the counselor right in front of me. I stopped going because we were paying for couples and the therapist spent all of our sessions talking to her.
    She told me just the other day that she was going to do better. And, “this time she means it.”
    I am at a lost at what to do at this point. When you find out that she has been distorting the truth in her own mind forever to make me the bad guy for everything.

    • July 5, 2010 at 1:42 pm

      My circumstances are pretty similar to your own, lost.

      As to “what to do”, your wife isn’t likely to change so, I’d suggest you only have two options.

      Either stay in the marriage or start planning your separation from it.

      If you decide separation is the way to go, you should read Dr. T.’s posts on the subject.

      If you don’t … and after 26 years of marriage you may see more reasons to stay in your marriage than leave it … there are other posts on this blog that may help you to deal with your wife.

      Based on my own experience, I’d advise anyone with a “short time in” and no children with someone they suspect may be a BPD/NPD type personality to head for the hills and not look back.

      But, I don’t think there are any easy “one size fits all” answers for “long-timers” who may have significant financial ties or children with their BPD/NPD type partner.

      We each have to make our own decision based on our appraisal of our own circumstances.

      Wish you the best.

Comment pages

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,305 other followers

%d bloggers like this: