Home > relationships > 5 Women to Avoid on Valentine’s Day: Don’t Be This Lady

5 Women to Avoid on Valentine’s Day: Don’t Be This Lady


Crazy valentineWomen and Valentine’s Day. It’s like putting a slab of raw meat in front of a hungry tiger. This Hallmark holiday elicits either the worst or the best in most women. There’s rarely an in between.

Valentine’s Day is to romance as drinking is to New Year’s Eve. It brings out the amateurs and often results in relationship fatalities. Many women have incredibly high and extremely unrealistic expectations of how the day should be celebrated. This is usually a set up for failure–no wonder men feel like deer caught in headlights at this time of year. No sudden movements.

Ladies fall into certain Valentine’s Day categories. It’s in your best interest to figure out exactly who you’re dealing with as the 14th approaches. Gentlemen, beware of the following V-Day sweethearts. Ladies, if you recognize yourself in these descriptions, well, there’s always psychopharm.

1) Snow White on Crystal Meth. She’s the uber hearts and flowers, terminally perky, girly-girl. These women make me feel like the bird in Shrek that explodes as Princess Fiona sings to it in a sugary sweet, falsetto pitch of romantic hopefulness. If you don’t show up at this woman’s door with a teddy bear, you better make Build-a-Bear Workshop the first stop on your passionate, grown-up evening out.

2) Love for Sale. If you’re taking this woman out for big heart day, you’d better limber up your wrist for frequent credit card action (and to take care of yourself after the date is over–this woman rarely puts out no matter how much you spend). This woman expects, nay, demands to be taken to the most expensive restaurant, show, or club. Just for good measure, you’d better show up with a gift that’s a token of your bank account and not your affection. Think Dating a Banker Anonymous women.

turn-back3)The Conscientious Objector. She’s either spent too many Valentine’s Days alone or with guys who were such colossal disappointments that she becomes bitter and angry at the mere mention of V-Day. Word to wise, if she has more than one cat, I’d turn back if I were you. Fancy Feast for six, Lean Cuisine for one.

4) The Sleeper. These are the women who make a big deal about not making a big deal about Valentine’s Day. This is a trap, so don’t fall for it, fellas. These are the same women who tell you they don’t want anything for Christmas or Hanukkah or their birthdays. If you don’t want to be treated like you just drove a bus full of pre-schoolers off the side of a cliff, you’d better show up with a gift and it had better be a good one.

Because this woman doesn’t just want a gift. Oh no, she wants you to magically read her mind and guess the perfect gift for her. This is just a glimpse at what life with this woman will be like. You’d better sharpen your psychic abilities in order to intuit her every need–especially when she doesn’t know what they are.

5) Any Warm Body Will Do. Valentine’s Day isn’t about spending a romantic evening with you. It’s about not spending Valentine’s Day alone. She may not even like you very much, but at least she can tell herself and her friends that she had a date. If all her girlfriends have dates and she doesn’t have a date, well, that’s just unacceptable. This woman will allow you to pay for dinner, etc., all the while thinking about the guy she really wanted to spend the evening with, but he’s “just not that into her.” This woman has made you the equivalent of an awards show seat filler, all because her fragile self-esteem hinges on having a Valentine’s Day date. Moving on.

If you’re with a woman who really cares about you, who enjoys your company no matter what you do, then how you celebrate Valentine’s Day is never an issue. You could go out for an extravagant night on the town or kick back on the sofa and watch A Fistful of Dollars–now that’s love!

by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

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Photo credits:

Crazy valentine by LVHRD:NYC on flickr .

I’d turn back if I were you by twm1340 on flickr.

  1. maZubica
    April 14, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Dr T,

    im not sure where my ex fits into this but i can tell you that she thought of V-day very highly.

    we didnt spend V-day together because i was overseas on a holiday with my mates that we had booked months and months and months before we started dating

    i copped the following abuse about my holiday and not being there on V-day

    1. you decided to leave me and go on your holiday
    2. i have other guys interested in me and i didnt have to spend it alone
    3. FACT! guys in relationships dont travel with single friends (youre kidding right!?!)

    no joke, this is what she told me.

    mind you i did do my very best to make the day as special for her as i could
    i organised a huge bunch of flowers delivered to her work with a very sweet romantic card inside where i expressed my feelings and how she makes me feel.

    she really like the flowers and it made her feel special, but i did cop that abuse from her when she was having a “moment” few days later….

    i just couldnt win anything, always in the wrong.

    its amazing Dr T, by reading your articles im having flashback of so many different moments in our relationship that i had forgotten or forced myself to forget because i didnt want to think about the weird and erratic behaviour that i was experiencing.

    we were probably about 2 to 2.5 months into our relationship when i went away on my planned holiday.

    what do you think Dr T??

    • shrink4men
      April 14, 2011 at 3:00 pm

      I think you’re fortunate to be rid of this woman.

  2. Recovering Alpha
    January 11, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    My ex was of the variety: “The Sleeper. These are the women who make a big deal about not making a big deal about Valentine’s Day. This is a trap, so don’t fall for it, fellas. … Because this woman doesn’t just want a gift. Oh no, she wants you to magically read her mind and guess the perfect gift for her. This is just a glimpse at what life with this woman will be like. You’d better sharpen your psychic abilities in order to intuit her every need–especially when she doesn’t know what they are.”

    As this V-day approaches, AM I GLAD TO BE SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!

    That last bit about “intuit here very need” IS SO SPOT ON it’s scary. The denial I lived in for so many years just amazes me.

  3. yoolie
    February 20, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    what is wrong with women having more than one cat?
    Please explain…..
    I heard that commentary, so many times….

  4. peaceelrring
    February 4, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    hum ok! See what you meant now!

  5. peaceelrring
    February 3, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    You’re welcome :)
    By the way what do ou mean by nuts?

    • shrink4men
      February 4, 2009 at 5:27 pm

      Someone who’s consistently hurtful, critical, distorts reality, denies things they say or do, emotionally unpredictable…the usual.

  6. peaceelrring
    February 3, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    Well if you are professional it’s a different issue :p

    • shrink4men
      February 3, 2009 at 8:57 pm

      Touché. Thanks for the chuckle.

  7. February 3, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    Another fabulous post! Thank goodness I do not find myself anywhere on your list! February 14th is but one day on the calendar. What about the other 364?
    I say: Bring me flowers just because you want to, tell me you love me when you feel it, buy me a card because you thought of me and take me to dinner because we’re hungry! Now that is me and what I help my own clients to figure out, both men and women.

    • shrink4men
      February 3, 2009 at 8:35 pm

      Thanks, Victoria!

      I like your philosophy. This year, I’m making dinner and then we’re catching some live music, which happens to be a circumstance of when the artist is scheduled to perform, not because it’s V-Day.

      Best,
      Dr T

  8. peaceelrring
    February 3, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Seems that the best choice is to be single during that day…

    • shrink4men
      February 3, 2009 at 8:36 pm

      …or spend it with someone who isn’t so nuts that he or she makes you nuts.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.

      Kind Regards,
      Dr T

  1. December 17, 2010 at 6:44 pm

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