15 Warning Signs She’s a Psycho Chick
1) She’s waiting for you outside your apartment door, uninvited, when you arrive from an evening out.
2) She owns more than 2 cats. (I’m being generous here. I think cats are reincarnated crazy women who committed suicide in their previous life. Two cats are a danger sign. I won’t date men who own cat(s); they’re crazier than their female counterparts–especially if they practice yoga).
3) Her previous boyfriends issued restraining warrants against her.
4) She invites you home to meet her family in under 30 days.
5) She shows up at all your favorite hangouts and pretends it’s a coincidence.
6) She systematically has sex with all your friends.
7) She contacts your ex-girlfriends to pump them for information.
8. She utters phrases like, “I don’t know what I’d do if we broke up,” “I wouldn’t want to live without you” or “the third time I was admitted to the ER for a suicide attempt.”
9) Suicide Hotline is one of her T-Mo Faves.
10) Her medicine cabinet contains bottles of Lexepro, Abilify, and Zyprexa. They only prescribe Zyprexa to the really crazy ones.
11) She professes “No one’s ever understood me like you do” and “I’ve never felt this way with a man before” on the first date.
12) You wake up the morning after you have sex with her to discover that she’s carved her name onto your arm with a knife. THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
13) When you meet her parents, they look at you with sympathy and gratitude.
14) All of her ex-boyfriends have moved to other cities since ending the relationship–a kind of Ex-Boyfriend Protection Program.
15) SHE SAYS SHE JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX, DOESN’T WANT A COMMITMENT AND YOU CAN CONTINUE TO SEE OTHER WOMEN. “I just want to be with you tonight. I don’t care about tomorrow.” Get your attorney on speed dial. Game over.
For a humorous, but scary male perspective, check out Dean Weigand’s piece on The Onion, I’m a F–ked Up Chick Magnet.
Updated on 02/06/09: Women who behave like this may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Since first publishing this post, I’ve received some incensed emails from BPD activists. BPD is a serious condition. However, for people who are coping with their girlfriend’s, wife’s, family member’s or friend’s hurtful and crazy behaviors, gallows humor is often a coping mechanism. If they can’t find an outlet or some humor in the situation, it makes the reality of their lives unbearable.
Furthermore, for all of you with BPD who want sympathy and support for your problems, I am writing this blog for men who are on the receiving end of the emotionally abusive aspects of your diagnosis. They’re entitled to help, understanding, and commiseration just like you. You have your online forums and chat rooms. These guys deserve equal time. These blogs aren’t for the “assholes who just use you for sex” (quote from a comment that hasn’t been approved yet). It’s for the men who are good guys who don’t deserve to be subjected to emotional abuse.
by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
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Crazy in love by Season Moore on flickr.
Love overdrive by Jill Greenseth on flickr.