DARVO: Deny, Attack and Reverse Victim and Offender


There’s a new article on www.shrink4men.com that discusses DARVO, a phenomenon that occurs in abusive relationships when a husband or boyfriend attempts to hold his abusive wife or abusive girlfriend accountable. Instead of holding herself accountable, the abusive woman denies her abusive behavior, blames her husband and then makes herself out to be the victim. The post also offers advice on how to protect yourself from it.

Here’s the link:

Presto, Change-o, DARVO: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender

Kind Regards,

Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

  1. B Experienced
    January 19, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    To Tertius:
    I am happy that you are detaching. I will bet that the reason that you aren’t fully detaching is that she sucked you in with her pity plays. This is psychopathic. Don’t buy it. You HAVE GOT TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN HER. If you don’t love yourself enough, now is the time to learn how to fully love yourself. It is important to know that love does not cure BPD and it exists on the continuum with psychopathy. You are a pawn and a patsy in her psychodrama. Get out now. She does not love you because she falsely accused you of something. This can get so bad that you may find yourself in a position where one of her false accusations is believed and you will end up in big trouble. It doesn’t look good to the courts either that you go back to her. They are right! She will use this too. Look at you, your Borderline because you stayed in an abusive relationship. Your just as sick as me, etc. Her love and kindness are not normal either. It comes with high prices and isn’t real love at all.

  2. Tertius
    January 19, 2011 at 6:34 am

    Dr. Tara, you are consistently nailing it. No sooner had I read the last article when I hit the home page again and found this one freshly posted. Both exactly what I am going through at the moment. In fact your posts seem to address exactly what I happen to be going through at the time with the XXXXXXXXXgf. The question is, why am I still with her? Well, after a recent court hearing for a false accusation I am becoming emotionally detached. God help me to totally detach from this person.

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