Why Men Should Not Put Women on Pedestals
There’s a new article on www.Shrink4Men.com that explains why men should not put women on pedestals and, if you have the women in your life on pedestals, how to remove them from their perches. Placing your partner on a pedestal is not the path to a relationship of equals, but a relationship between a superior and an inferior.
Here’s the link:
Putting Women on Pedestals: Don’t Do It
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Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.
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I need to add, that women get a job and feel that’s enough to contribute. As if anything a woman does is more important and valuable to a relationship than what men contribute
All I’ve read on dating sites is ” I like to have fun, I like exercise, I enjoy going to the beach…” All I read there is ” I have a vagina and nothing about it or myself, is any different from the next woman “. : )
I believe that with the feminization / equalization that’s happened, women have forgotten how treat men. I feel that women are seemingly searching for someone to treat them better, and do more for them. However, as is the case with my last relationships, women aren’t really doing anything for men. My last two relationships I was told ” I didn’t do enough or anything for me “. When I asked each woman to tell me what they did for me, they sat there with a puzzled look. I work, am a single dad, have my own place and helped around there homes too by cleaning, yard work, cooking…all I got was some sex. I can get that anywhere
What should men expect from women these days? And how do we tell them we expect it without sounding like a Neanderthal? It seems to me that women still want the fairy tale, want to be treated like they treat each other, but don’t really know what to give back in return. The online dating sites are filled with ” independent ” women. But, try telling an independent woman she has split the check. Why should I pay for courtship, when more than likely she’s gonna be gone in less than 3 months? That’s money I could-and would rather-spend on my kids.
Nick, you’ve hit the nail on the head. These days, feminism has gotten to the point that women think that men should do practically everything for them, without them having to contribute anything. And if the man stops doing everything, the woman uses the no-fault divorce laws to walk off with half his assets, alimony and child support. It’s a horribly unbalanced state of affairs.
Just try to find a female profile on a dating site with something to the effect of “This is what *I* bring to the table in a relationship.” You won’t find anything at all. Feminism breeds entitlement and severe personality disorders, in my opinion.
The situation is so intolerable for men that there’s a “marriage strike” quietly in progress. Google for “MGTOW” (Men Going Their Own Way) and you’ll see what I mean. Another term gaining popularity is “Going Galt,” named after Ayn Rand’s epic novel Atlas Shrugged, in which John Galt and thousands of other productive men withdraw from society rather than allowing it to exploit them.
Greg, this article was written by Paul Elam, a cohort of Dr.T’s who also champions the equality of the sexes. Paul never mentions wanting to put a woman on a pedestal, but he does emphasize how we allow women to remain on a pedestal (e.g. by not requiring them to be accountable, not insisting on a level playing field, etc.). Whether or not the woman thinks she’s on a pedestal is quite irrelevant; what matters is that we allow her to play by an unfair and unequal set of rules. The pedestal is in our heads, not hers.
Your ex-gf’s “top 10” list was clearly a manipulation tactic; when it didn’t elicit the response she expected (you were supposed to come crawling back to her), she switched to intimidation tactics. Bravo to you for getting out of there! There are a lot of manipulative and entitled princesses out there that don’t meet the criteria for a full-blown personality disorder, but should be avoided just the same.
P.S. It’s best to post comments on the new blog (where the article is) rather than here on the old blog (you’ve commented on the notice for the article).
Dr. T, I agree with your thoughts but think there is a difference in wanting to put someone on a pedestal and the BPD woman that expects to be put on one. A person who loves themselves and does not have the emotional baggage would want to be treated as an equal and would appreciate and value a man holds them in such high regards.
I’ve recently ended my relationship with a woman that always used words like “You dont protect me and you dont support me or…. You dont honor me” All of these were manipulative tactics to beat me down emotionally. She even had me convinced that I dedicated too much time to work and my family. while I dont see all of patterns/signs of of a boarderline, the most interesting thing was when I finally gave up on the relationship. She basically was indifferent with me for about a month and when I finally gave up and brought all of her items to her home, she had a sincere letter there waiting for me with the 10 ten things that she loved about me. She obviously took some time to craft it. I didnt bother to take the letter and just sent a text to her saying that her items were dropped off and wished her goodbye. I got a text right back that said ” Dont ever text me again. I hate you and I’m calling police to have you arrested for harrassment.
Thanks for all that you do! Without your site and talking to a professional, I would not have realized that the relationship was toxic to my health and happiness.
Regards,
GB
Good for you , glad to see your courage and conviction to do the right thing !