Narcissistic Abuse: Stages of Rumination During the Healing Process
Who does something like that?
How can she say she loves me and wants the relationship to work and then do that?
He says he doesn’t want a committed relationship, but keeps calling. It doesn’t make sense.
How can she have changed so much? When we first met she told me I was the most amazing man she’s ever known. Now she acts like she can barely tolerate being in the same room with me.
How can he go from calling me multiple times a day to not answering my calls?
I gave her everything she said she wanted, and now she’s posting pictures of herself and her new soulmate on Facebook. What did I do wrong?
If only I’d gone over there that night. If only I’d been more patient. If only I’d been more understanding of her or his issues. If only I’d tried harder.
Look familiar? If so, you’re not alone. These kinds of thoughts, feelings, self-doubts, self-recriminations and ruminations are very common after a relationship with a narcissist, borderline, psychopath, histrionic or other emotional predator. Ruminating is one of the first stages of the healing process and it’s a painful one. Many people get stuck here. It’s not only painful for those who are stuck, it’s also painful for loved ones to witness. READ MORE
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Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides individual services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Services page for professional inquiries.