How to Protect yourself from Narcissists, Psychopaths and Borderlines
Are you a self-described crazy woman magnet or crazy man magnet? Have you dated one emotionally unstable, emotionally unavailable and psychologically stunted person after the next? Are the majority of your exes a museum of various personality disorders — narcissists, borderlines, histrionics, dependents, paranoiacs and psychopaths, oh my?
While your former love interests may indeed have been as nutty as the Planter’s Peanut factory, lightning rarely strikes the same place more than once. Therefore, it’s time to look at your role in what attracts you to and attracts Crazy to you. In most cases, it’s a lack of boundaries, a lack of self-respect, faulty relationship beliefs, attitudes and behaviors learned in childhood and being easily manipulated by guilt, obligation, fear and pity.
Pining for a woman or man who mistreats and abuses you and calling it love is, obviously, a problem. For that matter, someone who regularly disrespects and devalues you, who lies to you and cheats on you, who financially exploits you, who undermines you and erodes your self-esteem, who makes you feel invisible — does not love you. None of these things add up to love, and if you believe they do or make excuses for being treated so shabbily you’ve got some work to do.
In other words, it’s time to do some Crazyproofing. It’s kind of like babyproofing, but instead of making a residence safer for a baby or toddler you’ll be making it safer for you to be in relationships. How? READ MORE.
Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.
Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries.
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I LIVED A 30 year marriage with an extreme narcissistic man. I never knew what it was until one day I found it on the internet. Best thing that I learned is that narcissistic people can only be mates with non-narcissistic people. Kind,caring sincere humble people is their target. They are attracted to people that they can feed off of. It is a serious shame the years that I wasted.From 14 to 48, and then for the 8th time broke away from him. Thank God for my brother Dan that coached me,and helped me realize it will never change. Now some narcissistic people can develop into this. Some it runs in their blood line. Usually there is no cure, except if one excepts the truth and works day and night to change their pattern. They are miserable people that want to always be in control,they are never wrong, and have no empathy on hurting others.As long as they win and get what they want while destroying your life, they could care less.I gave our house,property,vehicles and all what was inside the home to mine, just to get my life back. I am 52 now and struggle, each time I see him ,if he knows I am struggling he could care less, and starts talking about himself. Sorry to hear you are going through this terrible time, hold on it will get better in time with distance. I am much choosier now and careful. I learned best if someone makes you feel ordinary theirs no real love there.
I got your book. Thank you for writing it. I discovered it too late. When I looked back on events and experiences in my own very modest life I began to reinterpret things I had witnessed. Not including my own experience, and only what I heard admitted directly by the women involved, I counted 12 occasions of abuse and false accusations by women known directly to me. I wish that false accusations could be treated as a form of violence.
I have not lost faith in the existence of good people. But I feel very disappointed. Wishing you health and prosperity.
I can identify, I am a 54-year-old man who married a narcissistic woman. Married now 16 years but currently separated. The stress of my unemployment and my crazy self-absorbed wife led to me drinking alcohol for relief, even if temporary! I saw the signs early in our relationship, wife would drink every day after work and I was influenced by this and started embarking on her ways and of course got myself in trouble with jobs and just having a normal life. My wife is a binge drinking sociopath. We have an adorable son who is about to be 13 years old. This is the second time she has thrown me out because of me getting upset and over drinking from stressful circumstances. Well now, of course, it is even worse! First time I had to live in my vehicle for nine months and that was nothing short of hell and now I am broke and unemployed and fortunately, someone is letting me stay at their place while I try to put my life together.Unfortunately, the house has been overrun by drug addicts who have stolen already 3000.00 worth of goods from (Bob). Anyway, not one photo family of my wife and son with me in the picture. There never was a photo in our place of the family. She wanted a baby, made that clear from the beginning, got one with me and she only wants money from me(which I don’t have) at this time. She is very controlling! If she doesn’t get her way, there is hell to pay! She could care less if I was in the hospital or swinging on a rope. She would act the part of grieving for a day or two and then just party On with her best friend, Vella vineyards, and that is how it would go. Her father is known to be a narcissist and perhaps it runs in the family. Regardless, she has no concern for my well being and will not let me see my son and now my boy will be subject to all the vulnerabilities of growing up in a fatherless household. I was walking on eggshells when living with her and now I am concerned about drug addicts attacking Bob’s house or something of the sort. Bob had to throw out the worst bunch but like cockroaches, you have to kill them all, this place is still not free of the disgusting critters. I hope to find a full-time job and eventually get a place of my own(seems like a fantasy) and meet a woman of virtue. seems so far off. I am sober and I like being this way, I am light in the darkness.