Home > Uncategorized > Tipping Points and Breaking Points: Ending an Abusive Relationship

Tipping Points and Breaking Points: Ending an Abusive Relationship


ending an abusive relationship narcissist borderlineIf you’re the victim of a narcissist, borderline, psychopath or other abusive personality, you probably understand how toxic and dysfunctional your relationships is, but still can’t transition into ending the relationship and walking away. It’s not unusual and there are many reasons for this.

While abuse isn’t a gender issue, as both sexes perpetrate at nearly equal rates, in my experience, male and female victims have different breaking points when it comes to ending the relationship. What’s the difference between a tipping point and the breaking point?

One tipping point is when you finally admit to yourself that, yes, your relationship really is that bad and that, yes, your spouse or partner really is that f – – ked up. After which, you formulate rationalizations to stay and excuses for the narcissist’s behavior, perhaps blaming yourself, their ex-spouse or their family of origin for their deplorable behavior.

Another tipping point is when you stop protecting and enabling your abuser and confide in a trusted friend, family member or therapist what’s been going on in your relationship. Admitting it to yourself is a big step. Admitting it out loud to others is huge. It makes it more real in that it’s out there and the people who care about you will hold you accountable if you let them.

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Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries.

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