Home > Uncategorized > VIDEO: Narcissist Fight Club Rule #3: The Fight Isn’t Over Until You Admit You’re Wrong

VIDEO: Narcissist Fight Club Rule #3: The Fight Isn’t Over Until You Admit You’re Wrong

To a narcissist or borderline, the more right you are the more wrong you are. Conflict is about getting a win. The substance of the argument is irrelevant. The narcissist’s and borderline’s false self demands that they be the “righteous victim.”

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Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Getting my footing
    April 3, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    Just found your website and have been really enjoying the content (including the video above). Where can I find the first 2 rules of the narcissist’s fight club?

  2. January 26, 2019 at 2:58 pm

    Oh, no. Sometimes the fight is still not over, even after one takes the blame. Sometimes they must endure shaming after blaming. How do I know? I’m going through that now. Except in this case it’s long distance because “I’m outta there!” I’ve finally after 5 plus years reached the end of my rope. As a matter of fact, the nightmare has just begun for me. I’ve read enough to know that I’m in for a rough payback ride now. Wish me luck!?!

  3. Mick
    January 26, 2019 at 2:46 am

    To this day, after being divorced nearly 8 years I am unsure or lack the confidence to say exactly if my perception and understanding of events is correct. Being married to my now ex wife nearly ended me. Whether it was my own inability to sustain a lasting relationship, a lack of the traits necessary to remain committed or even choose a proper partner still eludes me. I do know that it was the most painfully excruciating experience of my life. No matter how much of myself I poured into that relationship, no matter what I gave up or sacrificed, my contribution was always minimized and criticized. Leaving the marriage, the home, the children, the identity of father, parent, husband behind left me in a state of despair and confusion, where I struggled every day with thoughts of taking my own life. Having to communicate with my now ex always creates intense anxiety, I often have to fight through my own suspicions and my own defensiveness. I rarely if ever get to see my children and the only time I hear from their mother is when she needs something that she can not find a way to avoid asking for my help.

    Since my marriage ended I have been in one relationship that I struggled with because of my guilt and feeling like I was betraying my own children. My motives though, for entering that relationship were not honest, though I didn’t really know that at the time. I was full of fear and insecure about my ability to parent alone and unaided. I constantly felt as though I was being unfaithful and intimacy, though enjoyable was often followed with more guilt and regret. As time passed my motives became more clear and the new relationship, that I brought all my baggage to grew more and more tumultuous until it to ended. So, I have chosen to remain single for my own peace of mind and emotional survival. I have decided that for whatever reason, in spite of all my efforts to grow and become a healthier man, I have not achieved enough health to be capable of possessing and sharing that sufficiently. I have come to the conclusion, that not everyone is meant to be married, not every woman is meant to have children, not everyone is meant or intended to be a banker or lawyer or psychotherapist.

    I have had to learn what my own limitations are and have had to accept them.

    Thanks Dr. T for your ongoing commitment to this subject!

    • January 26, 2019 at 3:04 pm

      Man, I feel your pain. Hang in there and your in my prayers. I’m going through hell myself right now, so I know a bit about what you’re going through as well, as your situation seems more complicated. Good luck to you and God bless.

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