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Posts Tagged ‘abuse’

How to Protect yourself from Narcissists, Psychopaths and Borderlines

February 20, 2017 3 comments

relationship-boundaries-03Are you a self-described crazy woman magnet or crazy man magnet? Have you dated one emotionally unstable, emotionally unavailable and psychologically stunted person after the next? Are the majority of your exes a museum of various personality disorders — narcissists, borderlines, histrionics, dependents, paranoiacs and psychopaths, oh my?

While your former love interests may indeed have been as nutty as the Planter’s Peanut factory, lightning rarely strikes the same place more than once. Therefore, it’s time to look at your role in what attracts you to and attracts Crazy to you. In most cases, it’s a lack of boundaries, a lack of self-respect, faulty relationship beliefs, attitudes and behaviors learned in childhood and being easily manipulated by guilt, obligation, fear and pity.

Pining for a woman or man who mistreats and abuses you and calling it love is, obviously, a problem. For that matter, someone who regularly disrespects and devalues you, who lies to you and cheats on you, who financially exploits you, who undermines you and erodes your self-esteem, who makes you feel invisible — does not love you. None of these things add up to love, and if you believe they do or make excuses for being treated so shabbily you’ve got some work to do.

In other words, it’s time to do some Crazyproofing. It’s kind of like babyproofing, but instead of making a residence safer for a baby or toddler you’ll be making it safer for you to be in relationships. How? READ MORE.

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries.

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Are You Codependent?

February 17, 2017 Leave a comment

are-you-codependentAre you codependent? If so, there are probably some things you have a tough time accepting about human nature and relationships. On the other hand, perhaps you’re not sure what codependent means, in which case, let’s begin with some basics.

Codependents need to be needed. They believe making oneself invaluable to another is the pathway to love. It isn’t. It’s the pathway to becoming a doormat, to being taken advantage of and to becoming a target of abuse. When someone loves you and you love them, you want to be with each other (interdependence). You don’t need to be with each other (dependence). The former is a mutual coming together. The latter is tinged with urgency and desperation.

Codependents may have difficulty being alone, feel unworthy of being loved and a fear of abandonment. A codependent will often sacrifice his or her needs and well-being to take care of others. However, they usually have a hard time asking others for help and support in return. READ MORE.

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries.

In His Own Words: The Making of a Knight in Shining Armor

October 15, 2013 Leave a comment

knight in shining armorIt’s day 13 of of Domestic Violence Awareness Month for Men and Boys. “Disconnected” is back to explain In His Own Words how his childhood experiences helped to make him a prime target for abusive women like his ex, sociopathic stalker extraordinaire, “Q.”

To read, please follow this link:

In His Own Words: The Making of a Knight in Shining Armor

Shrink4Men Counseling, Coaching and Consulting Services

Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides confidential, fee-for-service, counseling, consultation and coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

Covert Abuse and Abused Men, Part One

June 1, 2013 5 comments

Mousetrap!This article describes how many men are unwittingly lulled into relationships with abusive women. These women often believe they are victims, when, in fact, they are perpetrators. To read this article, please follow the link below:

Abused Men: How Covert Abuse Begins, Part One

Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:

Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

Obsessed with a Crazy Ex: Are You Stuck?

April 30, 2013 14 comments

Plaster_Cast-PompeiiThere’s a new article on www.Shrink4Men.com that discusses some of the reasons men and women have trouble getting over an abusive ex. It also challenges the old “But I love her” error that so many targets of abusers make.

Here’s the link:

Obsessing Over an Abusive Ex: Thoughts on Being Stuck

Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:

Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

Comments from the Edge: Understanding Crazy Talk

January 21, 2013 10 comments

The ScreamThis article goes through an email by a self-identified borderline personality disordered woman line by line in order to break down the blame shifting, distortions, emotional reasoning, lack of empathy and refusal to hold oneself accountable that is typical of many individuals with this characterological disorder.

To read the article, please follow this link:

Comments from the Edge: What your NPD/BPD Wife or Girlfriend Says vs. What She Means

Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:

Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

Winning vs. Taking: What Does Winning Mean to Abusive, High-Conflict and/or Personality Disordered Women?

June 6, 2012 4 comments

There’s a new article on www.Shrink4Men.com that explores what “winning” means to abusive, high-conflict and/or personality disordered people. To an abusive BPD/NPD, “winning” is about taking from others, hurting and controlling them. Winning is not about working hard to achieve a goal. This explains why these individuals are rarely happy, even when they succeed in taking material assets, relationships and other tangible and intangible things from their victims.

Here’s the link:

Winning vs. Taking: What Does Winning vs. Taking: What Does Winning Mean to Abusive, High-Conflict and/or Personality Disordered Women?

Shrink4Men Coaching and Consultation Services:

Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.