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Posts Tagged ‘codependent’

Narcissists, Borderlines, Codependents and Mutual Childhood Issues

March 15, 2017 5 comments

narcissist borderline mother.jpgMany men and women who have been in a relationship with a narcissist, borderline or psychopath describe taking a parental role in response to their disordered partner’s perpetually childish attitudes and behaviors. While this is superficially true, there’s much more to it.

Narcissists, borderlines, histrionics and psychopaths are immature. When you’re in a relationship with one of these personalities, you’re dealing with someone who is somewhere between a troubled toddler or a troubled teenager in terms of emotional and psychological maturity. Many of my clients who share actual children (under the age of 18) with narcissistic, borderline or sociopathic wives and husbands have watched as their children mature and and surpass their adult partners in terms of emotional and moral development.

If you entered into your relationship wanting an equal partner (a functional adult rather than someone who knows how to pretend to be a grown-up when practicing image management), you’ll eventually resent the parental role in which your disordered spouse thrusts you. In many cases, the targets of narcissists et al volunteer for this thankless position hoping things will magically change someday. This is especially true of people who have codependency issues. READ MORE.

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries.

Are You Codependent?

February 17, 2017 Leave a comment

are-you-codependentAre you codependent? If so, there are probably some things you have a tough time accepting about human nature and relationships. On the other hand, perhaps you’re not sure what codependent means, in which case, let’s begin with some basics.

Codependents need to be needed. They believe making oneself invaluable to another is the pathway to love. It isn’t. It’s the pathway to becoming a doormat, to being taken advantage of and to becoming a target of abuse. When someone loves you and you love them, you want to be with each other (interdependence). You don’t need to be with each other (dependence). The former is a mutual coming together. The latter is tinged with urgency and desperation.

Codependents may have difficulty being alone, feel unworthy of being loved and a fear of abandonment. A codependent will often sacrifice his or her needs and well-being to take care of others. However, they usually have a hard time asking others for help and support in return. READ MORE.

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries.