Emotional Toddlers: Narcissists, Borderlines and Psychopaths, Part 2

February 6, 2017 Leave a comment

emotional toddler woman 3.jpgEmotional Toddlers: Narcissists, Borderlines and Psychopaths, Part 1 discusses similarities between personality disordered adults and children, particularly toddlers. That’s basically what a personality disorder is; an individual who is arrested at an early age of emotional, cognitive and moral development typically between toddler-hood and adolescence. Unlike actual toddlers, tweens and teens, narcissists, borderlines, histrionics and psychopaths don’t grow out of it.

The forms of abuse and manipulation may shift and evolve with time and age, but they don’t mature into emotionally healthy persons of integrity. They become more efficient abusers and manipulators with time and practice. Or, they have to change tactics due to the physical aging process. For example, Nancy the Narcissist or the Bob the Borderline lose their looks and physical strength, so have to employ tactics like guilt trips and professional victimhood instead of seduction and brute physical force.

READ MORE…

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides individual services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Services page for professional inquiries.

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How to Be a Successful Narcissist

February 2, 2017 Leave a comment

evil-queen-and-maleficent-selfieIt’s never been a better time to be a Narcissist! The Internet, smartphones and social media make self-aggrandizement, hunting for fresh supply, triangulating, baiting your enemies and smear campaigns easier and far less labor intensive than any other time in history.

Everything’s coming up Narcissist!

Before you can be a really successful Narcissist, however, you’ll need to get a few things in place. Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to procure most of your Narcissist paraphernalia yourself.

Whoa! Easy with that death stare, Vampira.

Now before you flounce off in a huff, let us explain. We understand that one of the perks of being a Narcissist is having enablers who do the work for you. But sometimes you’ve got to do a little work in order to get others to do the the majority of the work. Unless you’re an actual celebrity (i.e., have an Academy Award or a reality TV show) complete with a personal assistant, you’ll have to lay the groundwork yourself, unfair though it is. READ MORE.

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides individual services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women who trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Services page for professional inquiries.

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Custody Battles with Narcissists and Borderlines: Obsessed with Diet and Poop

January 30, 2017 Leave a comment

9325266 - portrait of a baby girl - potty trainingBitterness, resentment and anger are mainstays in divorce and custody cases, even in cases that don’t involve one or two narcissists, borderlines or psychopaths. When a personality disordered parent is involved, the damage to children and the targeted parent, or target of blame for the high-conflict, disordered parent, can be incalculable.

I’ve been operating Shrink4Men and working with clients embroiled in high-conflict divorce for almost a decade. During that time, I’ve noticed some things. There are uncannily similar patterns and  markers among the men and women I’ve worked with in terms of their relationships with abusive partners and their break-ups and divorces.

You won’t find these phenomena in the DSM-V or most other clinical descriptions of narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, dependent personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder (sociopaths and psychopaths). Nevertheless, when a client informs me that one or more of these phenomena are occurring, my inner Jeopardy contestant says, “Things a borderline or narcissist might do in a divorce for a thousand, Alex?” READ MORE.

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides individual services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Services page for professional inquiries.

 

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Narcissistic Abuse: Stages of Rumination During the Healing Process

January 27, 2017 Leave a comment

20433764 - an handsome and muscular man thinking on a bedWho does something like that?

How can she say she loves me and wants the relationship to work and then do that?

He says he doesn’t want a committed relationship, but keeps calling. It doesn’t make sense.

How can she have changed so much? When we first met she told me I was the most amazing man she’s ever known. Now she acts like she can barely tolerate being in the same room with me.

How can he go from calling me multiple times a day to not answering my calls?

I gave her everything she said she wanted, and now she’s posting pictures of herself and her new soulmate on Facebook. What did I do wrong?

If only I’d gone over there that night. If only I’d been more patient. If only I’d been more understanding of her or his issues. If only I’d tried harder.

Look familiar? If so, you’re not alone. These kinds of thoughts, feelings, self-doubts, self-recriminations and ruminations are very common after a relationship with a narcissist, borderline, psychopath, histrionic or other emotional predator. Ruminating is one of the first stages of the healing process and it’s a painful one. Many people get stuck here. It’s not only painful for those who are stuck, it’s also painful for loved ones to witness. READ MORE

Say Goodbye to CrazyWant to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides individual services to help individuals work through their relationship issues via telephone or Skype, particularly men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Services page for professional inquiries.

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“Say Goodbye to Crazy” to Be Released for Pre-order on Valentines Day

February 14, 2015 8 comments

say goodbye to crazySay Goodbye to Crazy, a new book co-authored by Dr Tara J. Palmatier and Paul Elam will be released for pre-order on Saturday, February 14, 2015 on amazon.com.

If you or your current partner have a high-conflict ex that puts the cray in cray-cray, this book is a must read for you. There is no nonsense, no negotiating with Crazy, no psychobabble and no BS. This may literally be the first self-help book in history that actually offers help, if you are prepared to set and enforce boundaries and deliver natural consequences to Crazy for using your shared children as weapons and pawns and for continuing to rob you of your peace and happiness.

Say Goodbye to Crazy walks you through the process of identifying and protecting yourself from that meddling and destructive owner of the golden uterus, unaffectionately known as Crazy. Not by appeasing her, not by figuring out how to be okay with her narcissistic hijinks, but by leaving such a bad taste in her mouth every time she interferes with your life that she will quickly decide it is time to find someone else to be the recipient of her inner lunatic.

The full release of the book is scheduled for Mother’s Day (how sweet is that), but you will be able to pre-order the ebook on Valentines Day at this LINK.

Shrink4Men Counseling, Coaching and Consulting Services

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides confidential, fee-for-service, counseling, consultation and coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

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Going Mental with Dr Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam: Abusive Women, Smart Men, Bad Choices

March 19, 2014 10 comments

Going Mental 01Whatever your feelings about relationships, there is no doubt that men’s lives with women can be both crazy and comical — sometimes both at the same time, sometimes not.

For a thousand arguable reasons, it is our relationship lives where logic often goes out the window and all things limbic have a way of taking over. That is true for both sexes, and it can have not only a profound impact on mental health, but on the lives of the people involved.

The world spends a nauseating amount of time obsessing on women’s experience in this area. But, at the risk of sounding cliché, what about the men?

While more people are becoming aware of men’s issues, they still suffer neglect.

Responding to that deficit is the aim of a new live Google Hangout with Dr. Tara Palmatier and Paul Elam, “Going Mental,” a program about how men experience modern relationships, good, bad or indifferent. The show debuts today, Wednesday, March 19 at 1 PM Pacific, 3 Central and 4 Eastern Time on Shrink4Men and on AVoiceforMen.

The first program will include a brief discussion about the show, followed by a discussion between Paul and Dr. T on the reasons so many men make themselves unnecessarily vulnerable, emotionally and legally, to women; the failure of many men to establish and hold fast to limits with what they will tolerate, and why all of this happens.

We are also going to focus on what can be done about it.

Please feel free to join us as we explore the side of men that most people know about but few discuss. You can watch the show live in the viewer below or at a later time that is more convenient for you.

For those who like to download podcasts to listen to on your commutes or at the gym, you will be able to do so on the Live365 AVoiceforMen Channel.

To watch the podcast, please follow this link and scroll down to the viewer:

Going Mental Podcast 01

Shrink4Men Counseling, Coaching and Consulting Services

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides confidential, fee-for-service, counseling, consultation and coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

In His Own Words: Mother or Monster?

October 15, 2013 3 comments

Axis IIIt’s day 15 of Domestic Violence Awareness Month for Men and Boys, the invisible victims of domestic violence. “David” shares his childhood memories of his mother, who was more monster than parent. 

To read, please follow this link:

In His Own Words: Mother or Monster?

Shrink4Men Counseling, Coaching and Consulting Services

Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD provides confidential, fee-for-service, counseling, consultation and coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.