Shrink4Men One Year Anniversary and the Year Ahead
Shrink4Men has been up and running for one year today. I continue to marvel at the number of men and women who come to this site to share their stories and give and receive support. Thank you to everyone who has come here and shared their experiences, advice and encouragement. Thank you to all of the silent observers, too. Many of you have sent private emails and I appreciate your “silent” participation.
New Features and Services Currently in the Works
The Shrink4Men Forum. The Forum is currently up and running. In just under 2 weeks, it has over 100 subscribing members with new topics and conversations starting everyday. If you haven’t visited the forum yet, I encourage you to check it out, complete the quick registration and join in the conversations or start your own.
Expanded Individual Services. I’m currently developing specific programs for men and women who are in abusive relationships, healing from them and/or in the process of ending them.
Group Services. I’m going to offer private group sessions via Teleconference and possibly web video conference (need to figure out the logistics based on time zones and computer access of potential members). The cost is 1/3 less than individual sessions. I’d like to get the first group going by the end of this month, so if you’re interested please contact me directly at shrink4men@gmail.com. I think it can be an incredibly powerful experience.
Email Updates. I’m going to begin writing email updates regarding Shrink4Men news and national and global news links of interests and book and article recommendations. If you’re interested, please contact me at the above address.
Ebooks and subscription services. The first ebook should be available in February. I will also be starting a subscription based newsletter, which offers material that won’t be posted here or the forum.
Podcasts. I’m think of conducting podcasts as call in Q & A sessions. I have a bit more research to do before I begin—and I need to get over my camera-shyness.
Legal Resources. I am looking for a Divorce/Family Law attorney who would like to collaborate with me on the special issues men face in an unfair family court system, custody law and the unique difficulties when their ex is a “high conflict personality” (Cluster B personality).If you know of one you can recommend, please drop me a line.
If there are other features you would like that I haven’t mentioned here, please let me know.
Thank you again for all of your participation, feedback, personal emails, topic suggestions, advice and time. I am grateful to all of you.
Shrink4Men Coaching and Consultation Services:
Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.
Donations
If you find the information I provide free of charge helpful and valuable here on Shrink4Men, please consider making a donation via PayPal to help me maintain the site.
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Shrink4Men 
Happy 5th Anniversary!
Hi- just a quick recommendation- I run coaching groups on skype and have clients all over the world and the best way i have found to organise meetings across time zones and with multiple participants is a service called http://tungle.me It’s free and integrates directly with google calendar and many other calendars.
While that works well for your committed higher fee paying clients (who will repond to your meeting requests) I would suggest that for larger groups and smaller fees you just set a time and stick to it. To try to organise the perfect time for everyone just isnt possible and takes way too much time. If the need is great enough and they’ve paid their money then they’ll find a way to turn up. I’ve had people staying up til 3am or getting up at 5am to make a call and thanking me for the opportunity.
Some other useful strategies:
get people to email in questions or IM questions before and during the call – record your calls- they make great material and you can always edit them to preserve confidentiality.
Get that ebook and audio out there and follow it up with a membership site- we pay a modest subscription and you give first access to your best new material and the forum …
Thanks again for your blog..
Dr Tara:
You are a Godsend! What a healing balm your blog has been. I thought I was going crazy with the experiences I have been enduring for years, and at the end of my wits. Until the past year or so I had been too ashamed to admit that many of the things articulated on your blog were going on in my marriage of 13 years. Just seeing them expressed by strangers – makes me feel and realize how valid my perceptions have been all along. Otherwise, if I sought the counsel of someone familiar I would wonder if that “someone I knew” or “person with ulterior motives” is not just telling me what they think I want/need to hear! I discovered your site today and have spent the better part of 3 or more hours on it and processing what i have learned. Thank you!
I agree totally. My friend, an LCSW, told me one of the biggest reasons I carried the baggage around for so long was that I had no place to dump it. As noted on another blog, you can’t have real closure with one of these women and my wife certainly didn’t want to hear about it as wonderful as she is.
Thanks, Windfire66. I’m happy to read that you’re coming out of the fog. It isn’t easy. The more you recognize, the more difficult it will become to stay in this relationship, which is a good thing.
Kind Regards,
Dr Tara
Happy Anniversary! Thank you for creating this site. It has saved my sanity!!! Now I know I’m not the crazy one — I am a victim because I’m an enabler. Your articles are written as if you have been watching my house with hidden cameras.
Thank you again, here’s to many more years!
Cheers!
Dr. T: As I wrote under a different nom de plume on Facebook, keep writing. You are expressing thoughts and sentiments that I have held for most of my adult life, and expressing them in a more articulate fashion than I.
Dr T
Thanks for your efforts this past year on the one anniversary of this site. This site CHANGED THE WAY I THINK which is huge, because usually the way we act is a reflection of our internal thoughts. I’m not sure where I’d be in the aftermath of my divorce from ex without this site. I know I am in a far better place because of the articles and other men’s blogs on this site.
Take all this to your publisher and use as PROOF there is an appetite for a book on this subject matter.
Congrats on the one year anniversary!
I appreciate your time, expertise, and “no BS” advice. You truly are doing a wonderfully amazing thing for so many people.
Thanks for helping me and so many others…I really appreciate it:)
Sincerely-
Thom
First time commenter, but I’ve been reading for the past few months. I’ve had a thing for “crazy girls” most of my life. One in particular is a recurring character I still find myself drawn to despite the protests of my rational mind. This blog has been a huge support for both healing and pattern breaking.
Thank you.
Hi Vicarious,
Thank you for the positive feedback. I’m grateful for your continued support and am delighted you commented. I hope to see more of you in the threads and the forum.
Kind Regards,
Dr Tara
Dr. T, let me join the chorus. Thank you, you have no idea what a port in a storm your website and your insights have been for men subjected to the personal torment and destruction of NPD/BPD behaviors. And even more, you are a lone voice of support in a sea of their enablers and co-conspirators.
You made this last year much, much easier to survive.
Thanks, AnonymousT. I’m glad to have been a help to you. Here’s to better days ahead once the final clouds of NPD blow away.
Best,
Dr T
Congradulations Dr. Tara I think that what you are doing is wonderfull and hope that you have continued success. You are helping a very underserved population that needs your services desperately.
I am familiar with your work from both here and Men’s News Daily and have enjoyed and agree with everything that you have written.
Hi rohara,
Thank you and I recognize your name from MND and another forum that links to my posts from time to time. I’m glad to see you here, too.
Cheers,
Dr T
Happy Anniversary Dr. Tara. I stumbled across this web site in July when I was at the end of my rope. I just couldn’t understand what had been happening to me for over twenty years. Although my STBXW hasn’t changed and refuses to acknowledge her toxic behavior, I have become wiser. I filed for divorce and have begun re-building my own emotional and physical health. Your articles keep me focused and grounded and prevent me from falling into old traps. Keep up the great work Dr. T!
Thanks, Steve. I’m glad you’re getting out. It’s so important to learn how to avoid the old traps. It’s can be easy to get sucked back in—it’s kind of like being on auto-pilot. I think long-term abuse puts people into trance like states in which they don’t recognize how bad it is and makes it easier for the abuser to control them. Even after you snap out of the trance and see things for what they are, it’s easy to fall back under because abusive women and men know exactly what buttons to push and strings to pull.
Onwards and upwards,
Dr Tara
Your site is, dare I say it, an absolute godsend! Thank you so much and looking forward to more enlightening posts and even more sharing!
Congratulations on a successful year! Here’s to many more.
Thank you for providing such a wonderful resource!
Thanks, Mr E. I’m grateful for your continued support and participation. You and a few others have been regular contributors from very early on and have really helped to make this the community resource that it’s becoming.
Kind Regards,
Dr T
Happy 1 year Anniversary Dr. Tara! Shrink4Men just keeps getting better & better and helping more & more visitors! Thank You for creating such a wonderful site!
Hi free2be you,
Ah, thanks. I’m glad you finally spoke up, so to speak, on the site, proving that women are welcome here. Good to see you on the Forum, too!
Kind Regards,
Dr Tara
Power to you Dr. Tara – thanks so much for being here – wishing you continuing success in all ways.
Thanks, applause. Thanks for your support and participation on the site. It means a lot to me.
Best,
Dr T
Happy #1 Dr. T. you’re doing good things and helping a lot of people, men and women alike. i know there are some that come on just to pick a fight, some that can’t handle the truth, and some that simply can’t get over the gender biases, but for the rest of us that you have helped, you’re a godsend. your no-nonsense, no bulls–t, call-it-as-you-see-it approach is SO refreshing in this world of political correctness and feel-good, touchy warm fuzzies that get that average person nowhere. and yet, you also sprinkle in humorous sections that take the edge off of the subject matter and give us all a welcomed breather and smile, even against sometimes drastic circumstances. for even in very difficult situations, it’s important to be able to laugh once in a while, at ourselves, at each other, and at the world. laughter is, after all, the best medicine. so says Reader’s Digest… (that shows my age).
Bravo, Dr. T. keep up the good work…!!!
Thanks, Freedom. I think I’ll let you handle my PR—not that I have any!
I’m glad you got through the last death rattle with your ex and have moved onto greener pastures.
Cheers,
Dr T
Dr. T,
Happy Anniversary! You will never know how many people you have helped, including me. I hope to participate in one of your paying programs.
Fred
Hi Fred,
Thank you! I appreciate your support.
Kind Regards,
Dr Tara
Dr T I am one of the people who read everything on this site but haven’t commented yet. I found your blog last spring. I am writing now because want to thank you and let you know how you helped me through one of the hardest times in my life.
I won’t go into my story because it’s the same as all the others. There were times this site and the experiences and support of the men here kept me on track when I was about to let myself be dragged under by my STBX.
Thank you Dr T and everyone who comes here. I would like to join your group. Can you email me to let me know when it is and what I need to do.
Thank you again and happy anniversary.
Thanks, silent observer. I’m very glad you find my site helpful. I wish you all the best in the coming year.
Onwards and upwards,
Dr T