News Item: Long Island Narcissist Hires Discount Hitman to Kill Her Husband During Divorce
I love a good deal as much as the next woman and patronize Filene’s Basement and Nordstrom’s Off the Rack because I believe it’s crazy to pay full retail prices, but this takes bargain shopping to a whole new level.
A Long Island woman was arrested in March for putting a hit out on her husband of 21 years. Susan and Peter Williams were in the middle of a divorce. In an effort to ensure she would walk away with their million dollar residence and other assets, she tried to have him bumped off and couldn’t believe the great price she got. Look how much money I saved trying to have you offed, sugarbear! Who’s a savvy shopper! The New York Post writes:
An upper-crust Long Island housewife accused of hiring a hit man to off her hubby lamented she could only afford to maim him — but then was thrilled to learn she could whack him at a bargain-basement price of just $20,000, authorities said yesterday.
That’s the stone-cold, cost-calculating mentality of sick soccer mom Susan Williams, 43, who allegedly hired an undercover cop this week to whack her husband of 21 years. She was held yesterday on $1 million bail.
The twisted plot didn’t surprise her long-suffering spouse, Peter Williams.
His lawyer said the woman “tortured” the poor man with sick lies during their divorce in a grab for their million-dollar Garden City home and other cushy assets.
She even allegedly turned their four kids — ages 11 to 19 — against him.
“I can’t believe it took her this long” to try to kill Peter, said his divorce lawyer, Nancy Dreeben.
“She’s a desperate woman, and she will just do whatever she needs to do to get what she wants. She’s a narcissist.”
Dreeben said Susan admitted she cheated on her husband during their marriage — even bedding the real-estate lawyer for whom she worked before he fired her.
Susan stole marital assets and then, after filing for divorce in 2008, falsely accused Peter — a 46-year-old fence-company owner — of physical violence against their kids and of forcing her to have deviate sex, Dreeben said.
Those claims were never substantiated and Susan a year later even willingly agreed to allow Peter visitation rights, the lawyer noted.
Peter Williams, 46, a Baldwin resident who is now working to get custody of his kids, said, “I am thankful that the person that my wife sought to help in hiring a hit man had the decency to contact the appropriate authorities — otherwise I would probably be dead.”
Since her arrest, Susan has made counter claims that her husband, Peter, was really the abusive one and, of course, allegations of domestic and child abuse—you know, the usual. Ya’ gotta love it. The woman is caught dead to rights trying to have her husband murdered—at a discount—and she’s trying to portray herself as the victim. Very sad and sadder still that she won’t take responsibility for her actions
By the way, this is not the same woman from my Lost and Found post a few weeks ago—different part of Long Island. Now what was it I said the other day about Narcissists, Borderlines and Histrionics having elements of sociopathy? Nah, I’m way off base.
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Shrink4Men 
Sorry for the late entry, but I happen to see this as a documentary on NBC and I was especially saddened when hearing the mother and daughter’s phone conversation when Mom was in jail. When I heard what the daughter was doing to the father, I knew it she, like her mother, is a sociopath. When Dr. Palmateur stated about, “Narcissists, Borderlines and Histrionics having elements of sociopathy?”, she is right on. I was married to one for 17 years and thought she had NPD, but I now realize she was a sociopath with strong narcissism tendencies. But, unfortunately, I wasn’t nearly as strong as Peter Williams and came out of it financially wiped out, reputation ruined and with bad PTSD.
Sociopathy is not hard to spot, but you have to know it exists. First off, what is the stability of the family he/she grew up in; parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters? Note, sociopathy is passed on generation to generation. Was he/she married previously and how many times? What is the relationship that he/she has with his/her ex-spouse or previous lovers? Is there anything about him/her that appears fake, untrue or too good to be true?
If you feel you live with someone or know someone that you suspect could be a sociopath, then here are a couple of other references;
http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html
Book; The Sociopath Next Door, which claims that 4 percent of the population is hardened sociopaths.
What is sounds like to me is that many here have found a common thread (excuse the pun). Though it might be like many married to an (O.C.) BPD that it is easier for us to do nothing and suck it up, doing nothing permits outrageous conduct. Doing nothing makes us feel bad. Doing nothing burns a hole in our gut, and makes our hearts want to leap out of our chests. If you are not married, but see a BPD, DON’T. It doesn’t get better. If married, correct bad behavior immediately by answering back fiercely and directly (like in the movie, a Few Good Men, “You want the Truth! I want the Truth! You can’t handle the Truth!!!). This sort of selfish (as one calls it, Toxic) conduct is just not right. Its just not permissible between “partners” and shouldn’t be permitted. If such conduct happens before your children, tell him or her to cut it out. And make a log (so to speak). Make a record of evil conduct (call it Dr. Evil’s Handbook). You might never need it. You just might, however. If the BPD won’t get help, or thinks she doesn’t need it, document that too. You might never need it. You just might, however. Don’t do nothing.
Oops…I may have been replying to what Mellarill said. Sorry for confusion.
JP: When / if you get to this point, take those draft messages, burn them, and release their ashes to nature (after they’ve cooled) someplace where you feel safe, serene and happy. It seems kind of weird to do it at first, but for me, doing so was both a tangible and a conceptual ‘release’ of all that I had been through, felt and done (and felt like doing, i.e. reacting violently)…and I did feel a lot better afterwards.
For the time being, keep on writing. That is so therapeutic and powerful (or,at least, it was for me) to see all you are thinking and feeling in your own handwriting!
Cluster Bs can be as toxic as radioactive waste and just as long lived. To minimize radiation exposure, we use the concept of ALARA, As Low As Reasonably Achievable when it comes to contact. Zero is the preferred contact. We also use the concepts of Time, Distance, and Shielding to reduce exposure.
The problem is like many things, it’s easier said than done.
Mellaril,
Easier said than done is right. As far as my ex is concerned I’ve been completely, stone-faced, detached for months. Behind the scenes it’s not always so zen, lol. I spent about 3 adreneline fueled, heart pounding hours the other day writing and re-writing and re-re-writing a response to some curazy-ass narc-attack email she sent me under the guise of ‘working together’ on something affecting one of children. Of course my response stayed in the draft folder where it will stay (and where it belongs). My carefully crafted airtight logic would have done nothing but earned me another pyschotic attack from a completely different direction.
Hard won lessons from 20 yrs. of interacting with a controlling bully and master manipulator: They will never proactively apologize. Whatever you do it will never be right and it will never be enough. They will never, EVER say, “ahhh…ok…I see what you mean. Ok, I get it now.”
If you can’t get away completely then you must completely detach. And detachment takes discipline and confidence in your own reality.
JP
I am an accountant, and the father of three young boys going presently going through a divorce with a very smart (I thought) and formerly sucessful BPD real estate salesperson in Southern California (you know, the type you might find on Real Housewives of Orange County). I, of course, read the above with sympathy, horror and now wonder, “am I next?” It occurs to me what one of the problems I have found in the present legal system is that marital lawyers simply don’t know how to handle a BPD “on the other side.” Many say (like Dr. Tara counsels) they are high conflict attorneys, and skilled in wackos. And then they meet a smart, hyper-agressive, mad as heck BPD and then say, “wow.” I know that won’t make anyone on this site feel good, but that’s the god darn truth. Other than asking around, and interviewing lawyers to death, there’s not much one can do but take their word for it. About the best advice that I can give is to “be a pain in the ass” client. Push your attorney to get on the offensive as quick as possible, using whatever evidence you have and can accumulate in a short period of time. Push your attorney for results. Dont’ let events or the inherent craziness of the divorce process overtake you. Get custody at all cost. Get protective orders if possible. I once was told that the only thing a bully respects is another bigger bad ass bully. Well, as Bill Murray once said, “be the bully.” That is the only thing that a BPD may respect. And it might make you feel better and safer.
Amen to that.
You are absolutely right – the ONLY thing that a BPD and NPD understands is CONSEQUENCE! Don’t waste your time with ANYTHING else. CONSEQUENCE AND NO CONTACT and you MIGHT get your life back if she moves on to her next victim. You can only hope and pray that she will. If you have children with her you will need to block all text messages, immediately disconnect phone calls unless its an emergency and ask to be emailed and ALL communications will have to be through filtered email. Filtered email will be key to forcing her to interact with you appropriately. Your responses to her emails that make it through the filter should be one or two sentences with NO emotion. Don’t feed the beast by reacting – the beast is never satisfied. After almost a year of the above plan we have some peace. The following is copy of the email that was sent informing her of the new rules about communication –
I have blocked your cellular number from texting me. I have given much thought to your last verbal assault via text and have decided you are unable to control yourself like a normal person. Your last verbal assault asking me if I wanted to borrow your “balls” was immature and vulgar. In order to assist you in behaving in a mature and civil manner towards me, I will only be available through direct phone/person contact and filtered email. You will always be able to call my cellular number in the event of an emergency with our children. If it is not an emergency you will have to email me as I will end the phone call immediately and ask you to email me.
You have stated many times that you don’t want anything to do with me and you want me out of your life. I am going to help you accomplish what you say you want. It is really mental and sick that you stay connected to me through hate but claim to want me out of your life.
I sincerely hope you get the psychological help you need. Best of luck to you.
Your Ex-husband
Yes, I am his new wife and I can honestly say that I never knew that women like this are out there. Dr. T you have helped my husband get through this with advice through your website. I really think if he hadn’t found you he would still be feeding the beast out of ignorance. All he wants is peace and without you I’m not sure he ever would have figured out how to accomplish that. God Bless You and thanks so very much.
PS
I know its never really over with a BPD or NPD when you have children with them but he has discovered that it can be managed and a mostly peaceful life is possible.
Female,
I completely agree with your overall point however I would only have sent her something like this:
“Moving forward I will only respond to direct calls that deal with health issues affecting the children. Your texts are being blocked and your emails will be filtered and automatically deleted if they include offensive or abusive language.”
All the rest you included is wasted on her. She will NEVER agree with him or take responsibility for her BS and although the impulse to get the last word in is almost too strong to resist, all it does is increase the likelihood of her retaliating in some way.
So what else is new, you might well ask, but if she can’t retaliate directly at your husband then she’s more likely to do it at or through the children.
Don’t underestimate the power of detachment, even when announcing your intent to detach.
JP
The only thing I have found that works when dealing with my BPD woman is bullying. I get a minimal amount of respect from it and some quiet while others who don’t do it get hammered with her crud.
The bullying can be in the form of exposure to someone or some group she values, or something she values or sometimes just with a simple tone of voice (think scolding parent). These would never have been things I would consider doing until I had to deal with this BPD. It makes me feel sick to have to do it just to get some relief from the constant barrage. And I really resent that I have to do it in order to get any peace.
I agree. When I was dating my exgf, I was a Lieutenant assigned to a nuclear submarine. She was trying to pull some crap once and I shut her down in the best O-3 to E-3 manner.
She was taken aback and said, “Don’t talk to me like that! I’m not one of your sailors.”
I looked at her and said, “Then quit acting like one of them.”
As I’ve mentioned on other threads on here, my exgf, who displayed many NPD qualities, was obsessed with a basic-cable series about women attempting to kill their husbands. She would often joke in a sing-songy voice, that “if I can’t have you no one can”, and “no one’s ever going to find you”. It started out funny, as if mocking the types of people who really were that sociopathic. But I’m not sure it was always just the “running gag” it was supposed to be…
In the 90s, a woman from my church was arrested and convicted for attempting to put a contract out on her husband. The only detail I recall was when she was sentenced, her lawyer asked for leniency since when she was negotiating the hit, she wanted to make sure it was done where the kids wouldn’t see it so they wouldn’t be traumatized. As I rememeber, the judge wasn’t overly impressed.
Arne:
Please be careful with you correlation studies on Fibromyalgia. I have it severely and most likely have MS as well. I’ll know the latter next month. The area I live in is flooded with people who have both Fibromyalgia and or/ MS. Buffalo, New York. I have no trait of BPD or any PD. I know many who are in the same boat as I am. Many are so laid back and are fine examples of normality and letting go.
I read those studies and ones that were taken after them. Just as many non-disordered people have Fibromyalgia as the ones who were found to have BPD if not more. People with Fibromyalgia get beat up and don’t seek further treatment from the Medical Community as it is. It advances to a severe form which is very disabling and causes more serious Medical Illnesses that can cause death. For example, I know of a woman who has Fibromyalgia. She had no psychiatric history and developed throat cancer from the Acid Reflux that is very commonly seen with the illness of Fibromyalgia. It is brought out from stress on the body caused by pain in that context. Luckily, they caught it in time and sent her to a doctor who we all go to in the area who is a Rheumatologist. By that time, she was in a reactive depression because of the false accusations and needed help to pull out of that. This is very common. It is as isolating to people in that dilemma and is very much like the one a Cluster B victim goes through. She’s is doing very well now. It sounds like a lofty weapon to use when somebody has BPD. However, please note the serious repercussions that a Non pays because of the actions of a BPD. Once again, huge-only in another way. It isn’t a good weapon to use with a BPD either. It gives their hate a reality and fuels it, and it affects others recklessly.
The epidemiology of Fibromyalgia is largely believed now to be in the Viral Department by Medical Researchers and not in the knocker department now. Stress affects, but doesn’t cause it. I know many who were in accidents had a a broken bones and that physical stress brought it out. Medical Research in the field validates that. The doctors in my area are largely in agreement with Medical Researchers now and it is the norm. However, this is not the case all over. It took a long time and a lot of people were seriously hurt before that happened around here.
Fibromyalgia is now being viewed very strongly to be a cousin of MS as well. I strongly agree. The problem with the construct and concept of the term Fibromyalgia is that it is really a new illness with only competent research being done in recent years. It wasn’t given a Medical Diagnosis until 1986 or 1988. MS people at one time, very long ago, were accused of having a psychiatric problem as
well.
You may very well be the one with egg on your face and the one giving the Cluster B even more power so I have given you the current news on Fibromyalgia. Currently, BPD’s are the new poster children for the Woo Woo field of Psychology. If they get Fibromyalgia, you think they are the only ones who have it. I know I have met them too.
I truly have sympathy and empathy for your plight. I am on your side because you are on the right side. I never believed women were better nurturers and know many a man who were awarded custody of their kids when ending a Cluster B relationship, and they are very healthy.
Who diagnosed her with all the illnesses you stated? First go to that person and tell them about what is really going on. Give that person,the fair chance to make a statement and see what the reaction is. If they don’t do anything about it then call the licensing board in your state and report it. Psychiatrists go under a Medical Board and Psychologists are usually reported to The Office of Professional Discipline in your state-ask Dr. T how that works to be certain. TAKE A TAPE RECORDER with you. That is gross negligence, and I am quite certain failure to protect a minor in that instance is criminal. You may have a civil suit as well. Shake it up in a legal and moral way. How old is he? Most states let a child decide who they want to live with around 13, sometimes earlier? Let the School he attends know the situation and have them look for signs of depression or failure to thrive or any other problems. Since you have joint custody then exercise your right to develop a plan with the teacher to make him feel safe and have another escape hatch for him and you with the law. Tell his family doctor about the situation as well and have the doctor talk to him. The more authority figures you involve in his life validating what you are saying will help him counteract their insane attempts to either brainwash or have a maladaptive belief system of responsibility become a solid one. Above all tell him to keep it to himself. Tell him that you are not brainwashing him it is your job as a parent to expose him to the truth and if need be to prove it. These are all errs that I have seen happen after years of studying and talking to people on how child abuse slips through the crack and is allowed to continue. Your legal advice is iffy. It’s pretty hard to refute a big plan of attack and everything written down she does if needed for court. Keep journals.
In the meantime, keep correcting your son and increase his exposure to normal experiences that validate this as well. Let him play with kids whose parents can take care of their own needs and let him see it. Don’t put your sons mother down, just explain the bad behaviour and don’t excuse it because she is sick. Even Bipolar’s and people with Major Depression can behave.
If she has Bipolar I Illness and BPD chances are high she is going to end up in the hospital or in trouble with the law. I’m surprised she hasn’t already. Both like to self medicate. Does she do drugs or drink heavily?
I hope this helps you.
Debby
I was watching an episode on Investigation Discovery channel about hits put out and this woman tried to bargain with an undercover cop to put a hit on her husband for $200!!!
but wait… there’s more…
now she couldn’t pay the man up front. she needed to make installments. when the time came for her to make the first payment, she didn’t have any money and asked the man to let her slide. when they finally interviewed the undercover officer, he said it was all he could do keep from laughing and thereby breaking his cover. he couldn’t believe someone could be that dumb!!!
and keep in mind… these are the people who can breed like flies. EEEEK!!!
but perhaps the flip side of that coin is that she was with another man while she was trying to have her husband bumped off. therefore… there are two male idiots out there as well. who is more foolish, the fool or the fool who marries the fool?
Yeah – My Ex (who incidentally has primary care and control of our 13 year old son) is BPD/NPD/Bi-Polar/Major depression problems and claims Fibromyalgia [very strong correlation between these two items co-existing] etc etc and was raised by a NPD of the highest magnitude. She disassociates/ she cuts/ she attempts / she alienates / etc etc. I’ve been told that [where I live] unless she is institutionalized or incarcerated there is no way in [insert explicative] I would ever get primary care and control. We have joint custody. Although at this point he is so twisted at to what is ‘normal’ I fear for his future.
He told me never to ask him to live with me again because Grandma has told him that it is his duty to take care of his Mom as he grows into an adult.
My legal counsel indicates that I could spend $100,000 on legal fees/counselors/professionals [assuming they would be willing to stick their neck out and side with me] and then it really all depends on the mood and disposition of the judge that day.
Arne, I thought the same thing. He was a potential murder victim, and he was still not good enough to have custody. It’s disgusting. It’s referred to as the Golden Uterus syndrome, and it perpetuates the court system.
This story reminds me of one I saw on a true crime TV show several years ago. And it is even more ludicrous.
A woman in Arizona wanted to bump off hubby to get his money. She decided to hire a hit man. Not knowing how to go about doing it, she let her fingers do the walking — she went to the Yellow Pages.
She was thrilled when she found a business called Guns For Hire. She called the number and explained her situation to the guy who answered. He told her he would be able to provide the service she was seeking.
Immediately after hanging up, he called the police and told them some lady wanted to hire him to kill her husband. His business, Guns For Hire, rented out firearms to the film industry. He was not in fact a hit man.
A time and place to meet with the lady was set up, with video and audio surveillance. The store owner confirmed that the lady wanted him to kill her husband, and that once she paid him he would go through with the killing. After this was all caught on tape, the cops moved in and made the bust. The lady was astounded.
A lot of Narcissists are highly intelligent. This lady wasn’t one of them.
A note on intelligence: mine ex-wife always scored very high on standardized tests, has an enormous vocabulary, reads all the time (especially while I was making dinner/bathing children/cleaning the house ;), and has a huge repository of facts available for easy recall, but can’t plan strategically to save her life. I’ve always been amazed that someone so intelligent could be so… stupid about planning her life. Knowing what I know now, I think it’s part of a general short-sightedness that seems to accompany BPD: she’s too caught up in minute-by-minute dramas to really pay attention to the downstream effects of what she’s doing in the moment.
Yeah… I have the same feeling about my NPD gf. She appears smart at first but then as years go by you realise she is amazingly short-sighted. But she is very good at talking to people very convincingly. Now I know it’s very dangerous to trust what she is saying to be true. She can for example fool her work colleagues to believe that she can use some medical device (she is a nurse) and then she is even put in a position to train others how to use the device, but at home she said to me (with pride!) that she didn’t know how to use the device but she thought telling her manager that she can use it would be a good way to earn respect. Examples like this made me realise what a horrible lying bastard she is. I have actually once said to her at her face that I can’t believe such a person who doesn’t have empathy towards the patients is let to work as a nurse – that’s another thing she has openly said she is doing, that she doesn’t feel sorry towards the patients. I think the psychological tests at the nurse school failed big time. I am afraid that some day she will kill someone at work by accident, and then even be able to convince others it was not her fault at all.
My (almost ex-) wife works at a hospital too, but as a specialized technician, not as a nurse. She hates taking care of people, and complains constantly about how fat, smelly, and stupid all the people she provides “care” for are, yet she wants to go back to school to become a nurse because she believes it will somehow keep her from having to deal with some of the more challenging intimate issues (e.g. bathroom-related) she has encountered. I honestly can’t recall her once displaying empathy for the patients, yet she wants to quit her job and take on enormous additional educational debt to purse nursing.
It seems to me that nurses are always going to be dealing with people at their worst, their weakest, and most in need of sympathy and care, so I can’t understand why someone so unsympathetic to people in need would want to re-educate herself in order to make a basically lateral career shift that would require increased contact with the suffering.
A few years ago she quit a Ph.D. in neuroscience at a flagship research university after her first year (of course, it was everyone else’s fault that she “had” to quit, even though I begged her not to). Now she wants to enroll in community college to pursue nursing, so she can spend even more time providing care for the very people she despises. How’s that for sensible life planning?
The really sad thing is that the father has to “work at getting his custody back” – being involved with the psycho-b from hell is bad enough – then being involved with a divorce court system that automatically discriminates against men is a double whammy. But – seriously – she is in jail for hiring a hit-man to kill him and he still has to fight for custody?
I know, right? We live in an upside-down, bizarre-o world. One would think “mother tried to kill father of children” would be an instant slam dunk re: granting permanent full custody to father and no supervised jail visits for mom. That would certainly be the case if Peter tried to have Susan killed. Maybe the courts are considering Susan’s intentions and not the end result of her actions. Utterly absurd.
Her intentions were to kill a human being – even worse – the father of her children. My God, what judge would not cut to the chase and “get it”? You know what Dr. T, until men stand up and say ENOUGH, the abuses in our court systems will not stop. The squeaky wheel get the oil – ORGANIZE and make a difference. Don’t get me wrong Dr. T, I know that education is the first step and you are doing a great job with that but it simply is not enough to make a difference. How long will good men lay down and take this abuse? As the mother of sons it scares me and makes me so damn angry at society. Ok I’ve ranted enough.
This is the consequence of living with a system based on innocent-until-proven-guilty. Until she gets convicted of plotting to kill her husband, the divorce court still considers her pure as the driven snow. It defies common sense.
Not true, it’s whomever is more emotionally charged is believed in family court, espeically in CA court. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason : (
I agree and don’t feel that there is any justice in family law. Regardless of documents and history. Family law is financially exhausting. But who cares?