Just for Fun Video: The Sad Truth About Relationships
A forum member posted this video recently on the Shrink4Men forum. Funny because it’s true (in a lot of cases). Sad because it’s true (in a lot of cases). Nevertheless, it gave me a good cynical belly laugh.
Source: Chrys Wicked Videos
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Im now divorced and it was based on love, which sadly faded over time, no great acrimony over splitting up, we are still friends. my now ex partner however…2 years of being with someone who viewed a relationship as having to be perfect, we had to do things and present ourselves as perfect, very uncomfortable. she asked me to marry her, I suspect as this was on the to do list but it would have been completley wrong. I have avoided the above cartoon, thank god
Finally got around to watching this… I was dumbfounded…. as it describes my almost 25 years with my soon to be ex. I finally woke up recently and realized that all the things she “wanted” were what she thought she should want, or thought would fill some sort of void… but were, in reality, a mirage. She never knew what she wanted, only that I couldn’t provide “it” and so it was two decades of frustration, unhappiness, depression…and blaming me for not providing whatever it was she was looking for. Kinda reminds me of the “two-dimensional” characteristics of those with BPD that Dr. Tara talks about often. Interestingly, my ex has often described me of always “chasing the next dream” because I’ve had 4 jobs in 28 years of work… one for 13 years, another for 8. And the most recent change was only because I was downsized beyond my control. In the mean-time, she’s worked full time for exactly one year, very part time for maybe 3 or 4 and the rest was spent at home because she didn’t want to work or didnt’ know what she wanted to do. Can you say “projection?”
Hehehe, if only this sad video was actually as good as reality. Two things struck me, one was the unlikelyhood of ‘her’ actually sticking around till ‘he’ died… that actually would be good if it ever really happened anymore. The other is how ‘the guy’ is simply a means to an end to get what ‘she’ wants. This is sadly very true, in fact so true that it hinders ‘her’ hanging around. There is always ‘something else’ that ‘someone else’ can give ‘her’ that the “he” she married doesn’t have or cant give… And then, since men are simply a means to an end to women it seems, the toss the one they have away to go with the one that has what they want.
Ah, modern relationships are so much fun.
Amegioa, good point, I noticed the same thing: The women just don’t stick around anymore once the fun new milestones dry up. At least that’s been my personal experience, and my observation talking to all of the divorced women I know, some good friends. The magic age seems to be around 40, the magic number of years of marriage seems to be around 15-18. Then they’re bored, and gone chasing the rainbow. The divorce laws and the “you deserve more” culture certainly give them incentives.
Amegioa, you hit the nail on the head buddy. Easily 95% of the women I know are exactly like you describe. I only have 2 friends still with their wives who they married in their 20’s, and take a guess who walked out on who? That’s right, their wives. Every single one of them made sure to have another man waiting in the wings to use as an emotional tampon and breathing dildo of course, since most women are too weak to be alone.
When my wife walked out on me 4 months ago it woke me up to the reality of modern day relationships. I started doing research on walk away wives and was floored by what I found. I, like most men, had been brainwashed to believe that it was the men who abandoned their families and caused divorce. Imagine my shock when I saw the statistics on divorce and who initiated it.
The sad truth is most women in my age group have been raised by bitter single mothers or in a very female, ie abusive towards men, households. They have HUGE entitlement issues and think that every desire of theirs, no matter how impractical or outlandish, should be bowed to. Nothing is ever these types fault and, in the words of my STBX wife “If destroying you means I get what I want, so be it”.
I added this video simply because I’m obsessive……and it seems to represent the attitude these women convert us to.
Funny hehe… It does a good job though of point out how love/relationships/marriage has become something akin to falling for an email from a nigerian bank acct email scammer.
So, I watch this video and I wonder what’s the point? Me join a monastery….if they’ll take me. Joining the Shaolin like in Kung Fu would be cool.
It’s kinda like we’re society-ally programed?
Here’s the ‘male’ version of above video:
I passed this video on to a friend of mine cuz he’s going thru a nasty break-up after 5 years and he’s bitter and cynical right now. i told him it’s just part of the healing process, and that his thoughts will change over time. but this video gave him a chuckle and – hopefully – brightened his day, if even for a few minutes. so thank you…
The video didn’t really cheer me up. And I don’t even think it’s funny in this context. If one has been dealing with a wife that has NPD, I feel that a ‘boring’ life (like the one that has been comically exaggerated in the video) might be just fine. As long as there’s love, that is, the level of emotional attachment vs individuation is right. Strike the cynism and her ignorance from the video and you’ll something that is FAR better than a life of emotional turmoil.
N.B. I’m not American. Maybe that gives me a slightly different perspective on the video.
Hi TomTom,
I’m sorry that the video saddened you. I can understand how a boring life would be preferable to many cases than life with a narcissistic partner.
I find it funny in a super cynical way because it highlights how many people get married just to get married because it’s what they’re “supposed to do” or because people (usually women) want to have their “big day.”
Best,
Dr Tara
I found it rather sad and funny as well. The narrator pointing out how she’d be a center of attention for her wedding, pregnancy, and home purchase was really spot on.
I know a number of men who’ve gone through the stress of seeing their fiance run up mountains of debt for a one day party where they will be exalted as queen-for-a-day. The wedding seems to be the goal for these women, not the marriage.
And they don’t last in the end, naturally. Of course, I feel badly for my friends, but I have to feel some sadness for these women who have been raised to be princesses by doting family and horrible media messages, only to find out that life keeps going after the big wedding. The credits roll at the end of the romantic comedy, but real life isn’t like that.
How true on how these women quit on their marriages when there are no more obvious “look at me” events lined up in the near future. My relatives pointed out after my likely-NPD wife left that there were no longer any big distractions for her: no more big parties, new houses, new babies, relocations – life had finally settled down. Then she decided to leave because her “needs weren’t being met”, and she “wasn’t having any fun anymore.” Nine out of ten divorces where I personally knew the couples, the woman left at midlife for similar reasons. In only one did the man do this. What perpetual children.
Finallywokeup, you bring up another point. The whole “midlife crisis” Isn’t it supposed toe be men who buy a sports car and leave when they hit midlife? In every case I’ve ever seen, it’s the woman who suddenly decides that there’s some unmet “need” and dumps her family.
I’m not going to say that men never do this, but I’m sure there are just as many women who act this way as there are men.
I agree
LOL. Brilliant, that has cheered me up. Sometimes I think I made a mistake. Never remarried and now at 40. Thankfully I jumped ship in real life before the kids, although she got me to the new house and sex around ovulation stage. I never knew about personality disorders then, I just knew in my gut something was terribly wrong LOL.
Unfortunately, this sad tale is actually the bright side. Half of all marriages end in divorce, 2/3 of which is filed for by wives. So there you have it: the choice between a woman’s fantasy or a man’s nightmare. Decisions, decisions! Happy hunting in marriage land. :-)
LOL very funny.