5 Women to Avoid on Valentine’s Day: Don’t Be This Lady

Women and Valentine’s Day. It’s like putting a slab of raw meat in front of a hungry tiger. This Hallmark holiday elicits either the worst or the best in most women. There’s rarely an in between.

Valentine’s Day is to romance as drinking is to New Year’s Eve. It brings out the amateurs and often results in relationship fatalities. Many women have incredibly high and extremely unrealistic expectations of how the day should be celebrated. This is usually a set up for failure–no wonder men feel like deer caught in headlights at this time of year. No sudden movements.

Ladies fall into certain Valentine’s Day categories. It’s in your best interest to figure out exactly who you’re dealing with as the 14th approaches. Gentlemen, beware of the following V-Day sweethearts. Ladies, if you recognize yourself in these descriptions, well, there’s always psychopharm.

1) Snow White on Crystal Meth. She’s the uber hearts and flowers, terminally perky, girly-girl. These women make me feel like the bird in Shrek that explodes as Princess Fiona sings to it in a sugary sweet, falsetto pitch of romantic hopefulness. If you don’t show up at this woman’s door with a teddy bear, you better make Build-a-Bear Workshop the first stop on your passionate, grown-up evening out.

2) Love for Sale. If you’re taking this woman out for big heart day, you’d better limber up your wrist for frequent credit card action (and to take care of yourself after the date is over–this woman rarely puts out no matter how much you spend). This woman expects, nay, demands to be taken to the most expensive restaurant, show, or club. Just for good measure, you’d better show up with a gift that’s a token of your bank account and not your affection. Think Dating a Banker Anonymous women.

3)The Conscientious Objector. She’s either spent too many Valentine’s Days alone or with guys who were such colossal disappointments that she becomes bitter and angry at the mere mention of V-Day. Word to wise, if she has more than one cat, I’d turn back if I were you. Fancy Feast for six, Lean Cuisine for one.

4) The Sleeper. These are the women who make a big deal about not making a big deal about Valentine’s Day. This is a trap, so don’t fall for it, fellas. These are the same women who tell you they don’t want anything for Christmas or Hanukkah or their birthdays. If you don’t want to be treated like you just drove a bus full of pre-schoolers off the side of a cliff, you’d better show up with a gift and it had better be a good one.

Because this woman doesn’t just want a gift. Oh no, she wants you to magically read her mind and guess the perfect gift for her. This is just a glimpse at what life with this woman will be like. You’d better sharpen your psychic abilities in order to intuit her every need–especially when she doesn’t know what they are.

5) Any Warm Body Will Do. Valentine’s Day isn’t about spending a romantic evening with you. It’s about not spending Valentine’s Day alone. She may not even like you very much, but at least she can tell herself and her friends that she had a date. If all her girlfriends have dates and she doesn’t have a date, well, that’s just unacceptable. This woman will allow you to pay for dinner, etc., all the while thinking about the guy she really wanted to spend the evening with, but he’s “just not that into her.” This woman has made you the equivalent of an awards show seat filler, all because her fragile self-esteem hinges on having a Valentine’s Day date. Moving on.

If you’re with a woman who really cares about you, who enjoys your company no matter what you do, then how you celebrate Valentine’s Day is never an issue. You could go out for an extravagant night on the town or kick back on the sofa and watch A Fistful of Dollars–now that’s love!

Counseling, Consulting and Coaching with Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD helps individuals work through their relationship and codependency issues via telephone or Skype. She specializes in helping men and women trying to break free of an abusive relationship, cope with the stress of an abusive relationship or heal from an abusive relationship. She combines practical advice, emotional support and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Schedule a Session page for professional inquiries or send an email to shrink4men@gmail.com.

Want to Say Goodbye to Crazy? Buy it HERE.

Donations

If you find the information I provide free of charge helpful and valuable here on Shrink4Men, please consider making a donation via PayPal to help me maintain the site.

Photo credits:

Crazy valentine by LVHRD:NYC on flickr .

I’d turn back if I were you by twm1340 on flickr.