Extreme No Contact: Delete Your Ex from the Internet!
One of my clients sent me the following link for a web plugin for Firefox and Chrome browsers (sorry Explorer, Safari and Netscape users!) that allows you to “delete” your ex from your life—at least your online life. Here’s the link:
http://gizmodo.com/5585741/delete-your-ex-from-the-internet
It’s called the “Ex-Blocker,” and it’s rather like the web/non-brain damage version of the memory eraser depicted in one of my favorite films, The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
According to the article on Gizmodo.com, the Ex-Blocker plugin “filters your ex out of the internet for you. Simply feed it their first and last names, their Twitter username, their Facebook profile info and their blog URL, and it takes care of the rest. Sure, photos can slip through the cracks, I’m sure. And you’ll have to set up 
an email filter yourself if you want to cut off contact completely.”
If you’ve made the decision to go No Contact, but are still getting Facebook, MySpace and Tweet updates from the ex-Twit about how “amazing” her new boyfriend is, how she’s “never been happier” and that she regrets dating all of her “ex-jerk loser boyfriends,” this plugin might just bring you that last bit of peace of mind you seek.
To download the plugin, visit:
While this plugin will keep your ex from popping up on the Internet, it’s up to you to install rock solid boundaries to prevent her from popping up in your offline life. If only there was a plugin download for that!
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Cool idea for those that are not pc-savvy about social media or don’t want to take the time to do this manually on each site they visit.
I personally have blocked my profile so my hubby’s ex can’t contact me or even see me. Somehow, she found out about our personal blog a few days after I set it up back in December, but I think that when she attacked me personally expecting this outpouring of support and the only replies she got were from our friends and family, she quit trying. He has to talk to her for parenting issues – but has limited that to email communication so everything she says is in writing and he has time to think before he replies.
I don’t add people I don’t know to my Facebook profile’s friend’s list – unless it’s for games – and then there is a separate profile for that with no life frills – just games.
My twitter account is strictly business. Beyond that – yes, set up a filter on email – unless you have parenting issues – in which case, if she’s that bad, you should check into parallel parenting and stick to it no matter what hateful, hurtful mean things she tries to throw up in your face. The best policy is don’t reply. It may hurt – but don’t react because that’s what she is looking for. Pick up the phone and call a person you trust, or talk to your therapist – or write a really hateful reply but never send it. Do something cathartic – but don’t let her know she got to you. Eventually, either the jabs will stop – or you will get so used to ignoring them and realize just how ridiculous her evilness is.
If you don’t have kids together (and therefore no real reason to keep communication up), then why are you in contact with her? Learn how to use email filters – or change your email address and don’t give it to her. Change your phone number. I know it sounds extreme – but this is the same advice that we women get from authorities when we complain to the authorities about stalker ex-bf’s.
Dear Dr.T.,
I sure do look forward to more insightful articles from you. They are so helpful for those of us going through the BPDx mill.
This sounds like a terrible idea. Blockers are blunt instruments and don’t actually fix anything. If you have a Facebook, MySpace and/or Twitter account, you should always be aware of your security settings, friends and subscriptions. Taking the time to simply go through all of those will solve the problem and prevent other issues (such as the ex, or undesirable person, subscribing to your material.)
If the accounts are using a handle, which isn’t uncommon for Twitter, just delete the account.
One other thing to be aware of with Twitter. By default, your account is public. You can block this, but you can’t block other people from having their feeds be public and your twitter account and information you twitter can easily show up where you don’t want it. Frankly, if you are at all concerned about security and privacy, you shouldn’t use Twitter. (Don’t believe me, if you have a twitter account, go to Google enter your first name, space, last name, space, and the word twitter.)
Fully agree Jason, it brings us down to their level, yes we need to repair our self esteem,but we also need to reclaim and maintain the moral high ground. We’re better than that
Nice. Wish there really was a go back to ‘x’ time and take a different decision – like the first time they show their real personality and you think ‘what the hell happened there’ and ‘I should get out of this’ only to be sucked back in with false niceness.
Not seen a post here for a while – please post some more sanity giving articles :)